Emotional abuse is difficult to define
and many cases are never reported; nevertheless, it's clear that this form of
destructive behaviour is based on power and control. An emotionally abusive
person may dismiss your feelings and needs, expect you to perform humiliating
or unpleasant tasks, manipulate you into feeling guilty for trivial things,
belittle your outside support system or blame you for unfortunate circumstances
in his or her life. Jealousy, possessiveness and mistrust characterize an
emotionally abusive person1.
Widely
recognized signs of emotional abuse include: rejecting, degrading, terrorizing,
isolating, exploiting, and detaching. Some examples of emotional abuse are
mentioned below:
Denying someone access to other relationships. Taunting on the playground;
yelling degrading remarks; downplaying accomplishments; threatening to take the
children away and we can name more. From bullying and manipulative mind games
to sexual harassment and elder care neglect, emotional and verbal abuse is
rampant in our society. No one is immune from encountering abusive people, but
everyone can make healthy choices to end destructive relationship patterns2.
Apart from making healthy choices we have a great God, (especially if the abuser also belongs to
the church hold of God) who empathizes and sympathizes with our entire
situation, and we can go to Him in prayer for wisdom, discernment and for
making right choices in varied situations. I have a prayer below, which could
be personalized and used and this prayer is for God’s glory and honor.
Prayer
Dear Father in heaven, we come to Your throne room of grace knowing that
Jesus when He was on this earth was abused, degraded, bullied, down played of
all His Godly statements even name called as Beelzebub. The finale was when
Jesus was hanging on the cross, He was yelled at with degrading remarks. “And saying, Thou that destroyest the temple,
and buildest it in three days,
save thyself. If thou be the Son of God, come down from the cross” Matt: 27:40.
It is not surprising as believers we go through some aspect of it in this
earth, at the same time it is overwhelming and very disheartening and painful
when we go through it.
(Emotionally
abusive spouse)
We come to You as a broken person, because of the physical and emotional
scars of an abusive spouse have battered us to the point of despondency, and we
pray for Your Divine protection and intervention. We are in need of You and we
are desperate for You. Lord You have said in Your Word, what God has joined
together let not man separate and we pray that You would give a hedge of
protection around our families; 10 Hast not thou made an hedge about him, and about his
house, and about all that he hath on every side? thou hast blessed the work of
his hands, and his substance is increased in the land. Job 1:10. Shield us
from further harm and may we find favor before You so that our family will not
be dysfunctional but be encouraged by Your love and by Your Word.
Lord it is written in Your Word, that You
will bless the righteous and will protect him; 12 For You, O Lord, will
bless the righteous; With favor You will surround him as with a shield;Ps:5:12. We pray for our spouse who was entangled in
the spirit of iniquity, bondage of sin and corruption, anger, violence and
bitterness. Satan is a liar and thief from the very beginning and he wants to destroy
family unity as he has done in the Garden of Eden itself. Lord we pray,
according to Your Word for abundant life in the life our spouse and our family;
10 The thief cometh not, but
for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life,
and that they might have it more abundantly; Jn: 10:10.
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due
benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of
her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of
his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with
consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come
together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency;1 Cori:7:3-5.
As according to Your Word, we pray for
peace in our family and relationship between husband and wife so our
relationship would be God honouring. We pray for peace, harmony, calmness, and
self-control in the abuser so that he or she may learn to love not only in word
but also in deed and in truth; 18 My little children, let
us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth; 1 Jn:3:18. Change
the heart of the abuser (my spouse) Oh! Lord so that their eyes are opened to
the truth and transplant within them a heart of flesh instead of a heart of
stone; 26 A
new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I
will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart
of flesh; Ez: 36:26.
We pray that the enemy will not condemn
us for ever and give us guilt continuously; 1There is therefore now
no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the
flesh, but after the Spirit; Rom 8:1. Lord You have said in Your Word, that
You are a God of generations and You have blessed Abraham through generations
because of the covenant which You made between Abraham. We pray today that we
would be God honouring in all of our ways, and if there is any generational
pattern of sin which follows in our family, we pray and ask that You would
uproot it completely so that we will be genuine household of God.
Dear God, as marriage is a covenant
between two parties, and heavenly Father is the genuine bride giver, we pray
earnestly for Your Divine intervention. We pray for repentance and restoration
on both sides, for the abuser and the offender and bring restoration to our
marriage. Thank You for affirming Your love even for the evil doer in Your
word; 11 Say
unto them, As I live, saith the Lord God, I have no pleasure
in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live:
turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die, O house of Israel? Ez: 33:11.
We
pray for any venomous arrows that would have pierced the heart of the abused
person in the relationship, which could destroy the soul if not guarded against
the atoning blood of Jesus Christ and we ask for healing and atonement; 5 But he was wounded for our
transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our
peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. Isa: 53:5. We are
assured in Your promises, that You are our hiding place, You preserve us from
trouble, and You would surround us with songs of deliverance whenever we call
upon You; 7 Thou art my hiding place;
thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of
deliverance. Selah; Psa: 32:7.
When
we are conflicted, and confounded You are our only refuge and shelter and only
One who is able to bring us out of those confusion and instill within us
strength necessary for those situations; 13 Wherefore
take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the
evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Ephe: 6:13. We pray for courage so we can confide with some one who is a burden
bearer; 22 without
counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are
established; Prov: 15:22; so we can move with wisdom and discernment from
here.
We want to sing the wondrous story of Jesus
and His life giving hope to others who walk through overwhelming perilous
situations. We pray and ask You would bestow on us beauty for ashes, oil of joy
for mourning, garment of praise for heaviness, and may we be called a tree of
righteousness and planting of the Lord; The Spirit of the Lord
God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me
to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the
opening of the prison to them that are bound; 2 To
proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of
vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; 3 To
appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the
oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified. Isa:
61:1-3.
Now
we pray: 19 to know the
love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the
fullness of God. 20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly
abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in
us, 21 to Him be glory in the church by Christ
Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
End Notes:
... emotional
abuse is even more devastating than physical abuse.
Emotional abuse
tears at a person's self-esteem and can
greatly impair ... Can we pray for ...
