Living Hope: April 2014

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Oh! Death where is thy sting?

⁵⁵O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? ⁵⁶The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. ⁵⁷But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ; 1 Cori: 15:55-57.

Meaning of sting:

Bing Dictionary

1. to prick or wound with a sharp-pointed, often venom-bearing organ.

2. to affect painfully or irritatingly as a result of contact, as certain plants do.

3. to cause to smart or to feel a sharp pain.

4. to cause mental or moral anguish.

5. to goad or drive, as by sharp irritation.

¹In the end of the sabbath, as it began to dawn toward the first day of the week, came Mary Magdalene and the other Mary to see the sepulchre. ²And, behold, there was a great earthquake: for the angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it. ³His countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow: ⁴And for fear of him the keepers did shake, and became as dead men. ⁵And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified. ⁶He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay. ⁷And go quickly, and tell his disciples that he is risen from the dead; and, behold, he goeth before you into Galilee; there shall ye see him: lo, I have told you. ⁸And they departed quickly from the sepulchre with fear and great joy; and did run to bring his disciples word. ⁹And as they went to tell his disciples, behold, Jesus met them, saying, All hail. And they came and held him by the feet, and worshipped him. ¹⁰Then said Jesus unto them, Be not afraid: go tell my brethren that they go into Galilee, and there shall they see me. ¹¹Now when they were going, behold, some of the watch came into the city, and shewed unto the chief priests all the things that were done. ¹²And when they were assembled with the elders, and had taken counsel, they gave large money unto the soldiers, ¹³Saying, Say ye, His disciples came by night, and stole him away while we slept. ¹⁴And if this come to the governor's ears, we will persuade him, and secure you. ¹⁵So they took the money, and did as they were taught: and this saying is commonly reported among the Jews until this day. ¹⁶Then the eleven disciples went away into Galilee, into a mountain where Jesus had appointed them. ¹⁷And when they saw him, they worshipped him: but some doubted. ¹⁸And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. ¹⁹Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: ²⁰Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen. Matt: 28.

1. Darkness which is not normal in other words we can say miraculous.

If we look through out Scriptures darkness is mentioned and also it was said that the darkness did not comprehend light. At the time of crucifixion there was a super natural darkness which lasted in the land from 12 noon to 3 p.m. When we look through Genesis to Revelations we find that Cross is significant and has a rich meaning and is related to darkness. The words darkness and light appear in God’s Word around 390 times, and around 160 times for darkness and 229 times for light. There is a great meaning when God acted in Genesis to remove darkness by light and we see these are interrelated.

2. The temple veil was torn

⁵⁰Jesus, when he had cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the ghost. ⁵¹And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent; ⁵²And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, ⁵³And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many; Matt: 27:50-53.

3. Earth shakes and the rocks break

³⁷And Jesus cried with a loud voice, and gave up the ghost. ³⁸And the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom. Mark: 15:37-38.

⁵⁰Jesus, when he had cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the ghost. ⁵¹And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent; Matt: 27:50-51.

The loud voice of the victorious Saviour split the temple veil, shook the earth, broke the rocks and opened the tombs. This miracle has significance on its own because along with the cycle of other events this happened around the death of Christ. As with the darkness and the splitting of the veil, this occurred at the same time and was a supernatural notation from God to make known the significance of the death of Christ.

4. Graves opened.

⁵³And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many; Matt: 27:53. The burial place throughout Scriptures has a special significance, and it stands as a remembrance for people who are left and also tells a history about what has gone before. It would have been a huge shock to all the people who were witnessing the crucifixion and for them it is a wonder why the graves have been opened.

5. Saints were raised up from the tomb.

These people are called Saints because they were believers who died in the Old Testament era, and they believed in the coming Messiah and the covenant of promise. It appears they were buried around the city of Jerusalem in the rock-hewn tombs. To extrapolate it further their tombs could be an exhibition to those who could know about the death of Christ. The exact number of people who were raised from the dead are not told, and the number is not many. The point is this is enough to cause a stir among people and this itself is a huge testimony.

Time of resurrection and the testimony of Centurion:

⁵²And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, ⁵³And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many. ⁵⁴Now when the centurion, and they that were with him, watching Jesus, saw the earthquake, and those things that were done, they feared greatly, saying, Truly this was the Son of God; Matt:27:52-54. The NASB and the KJV translations of Matt: 27:53; shows us this resurrection did not occur at the same time as the opening of the graves, but after Christ’s resurrection.

6. Empty tomb and the undisturbed Grave clothes.

⁵²And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, Matt: 27:52.

Empty tomb of the Saviour and the subsequent events are a sign that Christ is risen. Eternal life is offered to those who will trust and believe in His Son Jesus Christ. That is having personal faith in Christ as a sole means of salvation. Because Christ rose from the dead, the believers in Christ has this eternal hope that they will rise up like him, and live with Him eternally. What a great blessed hope? Below are some Scriptural references to support the above statement.

¹²But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name. Jn: 1:12.

⁸For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: ⁹Not of works, lest any man should boast; Ephe: 2:8-9.

Where O Death is Your Victory?

⁵⁰Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; neither doth corruption inherit incorruption. ⁵¹Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, ⁵²In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. ⁵³For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. ⁵⁴So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. ⁵⁵O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? ⁵⁶The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. ⁵⁷But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

⁵⁸Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.

Website References:

1.THE SIX MIRACLES OF CALVARY - Kneeholedesk

www.kneeholedesk.com/Pages/Encouraging_Words/Calvary.html

THE MIRACULOUS DARKNESS - Luke 23:44,45 It was the 6th hour. That was noon. There was darkness over all the land and it continued from 12:00 to 3 ...

2.The Miracles of Calvary | Bible.org

https://bible.org/article/miracles-calvary

The Miracles of Calvary Related Media. Introduction. Surrounding Christ’s death on the cross, ... Six trials were now over (three Jewish and three Roman).

3.The Six Miracles of Calvary: Unveiling the Story of Easter ...

www.amazon.ca › … › Christian Books & Bibles › Holidays › Lent

The Six Miracles of Calvary: Unveiling the Story of Easter: William R. Nicholson, Dan Schaeffer: 9781572930728: Books - Amazon.ca

4.Christianbook.com: The Six Miracles of Calvary: Unveiling ...

www.christianbook.com › … › Lessons from Scripture

Unveiling the mystery of The Six Miracles of Calvary, Dan Schaeffer updates William Nicholson's classic book for today's audience. Why was there an earthquake?

5.The Six Miracles of Calvary: Unveiling the Story of the ...

books.google.com › Religion › Biblical Studies › New Testament

Magnificent insight into the miracles surrounding the crucifixion of Christ. Why was there a tremendous earthquake? What was the meaning of the three hours of thick ..

6.The Six Miracles of Calvary: Unveiling the Story of the ...

www.goodreads.com/book/show/322882

The Six Miracles of Calvary, by William R. Nicholson, updated in Today's Language by Dan Schaeffer, Discovery House Publishers, 2002, 128 Pages, $6.95

7.The six miracles of Calvary - William Rufus Nicholson ...

books.google.com/books/about/The_six_miracles_of_Calvary.html?id=...

Wonderful explanations User Review - Nana Pudie - Christianbook.com. I used this book as a study for a group of ladies. Every week we had wonderful discussions on the ...

For further reading:

1. Millard J. Erickson. Christian Theology. Grand Rapids: Baker Book House: 1983-85, p. 947-1002.

2. R.T. Kendall. Understanding Theology, Developing a Healthy Church in the 21^st Century. 1996, p. 357-364.

3. Jay E. Adams. A Theology of Christian Counseling, More than Redemption. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1979, p.249-275.

4. Louis Berkhof. Systematic Theology. Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1996, p. 423-450.

5. Robert P Lightner. Handbook of Evangelical Theology, Historical, Biblical, and Contemporary Survey and Review. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House, 1986, p.527-544.

6. Charles Ryrie. Basic Theology. Chicago: Moody Press, 1986, 1999, p.374-377.

7. A. H. Strong. Systematic Theology. New Jersey: Fleming H. Revell Co, 1907, p. 869-881.

8. Wayne Grudem. Systematic Theology, An Introduction to Biblical Doctrine. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1994, p. 736-761; 840-850.

9. Steven W. Waterhouse. Not By Bread Alone, An Outlined Guide To Bible Doctrine. Amarillo: Westcliffe Press, 2007, p.188-191.

10. John Theodore Muller, Th.D. Christian Dogmatics, A handbook of Doctrinal Theology for Pastors, Teachers, and Laymen. St. Louis, Mo: Concordia Publishing House, 1934, p.384-386.

11. Prayers To Move Your Mountains. Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2000.

12. John White. Parables, the Greatest Stories ever Told. Illinois: Inter varsity Press, 1988, 1999.

13. ESV Study Bible. English Standard Version. Crossway Bibles, Wheaton, Illinois: Publishing ministry of Good News publishers, 2008.

14. The Matthew Henry Study Bible. King James Version. Iowa falls: World Bible Publishers, Inc. 1990.

Friday, April 18, 2014

True Love

The ultimate true love was shown on the Cross two thousand years ago, and today we remember that love and wonder some time isn’t there any other way for God to show true love for humanity!

The Cross is the lighthouse which guides poor weather-beaten humanity into the harbour of peace. - Charles Spurgeon.

The highest proof of the spirit is love. Love the eternal thing which can already on earth possess as it really is. - J.C. Ryle

The great thing in prayer is to feel that we are putting our supplications into the bosom of omnipotent love. - J.C. Ryle

The word “forgive” means to wipe the slate clean, to pardon, to cancel a debt. When we wrong someone, we seek his or her forgiveness in order for the relationship to be restored. It is important to remember that forgiveness is not granted because a person deserves to be forgiven. Instead, it is an act of love, mercy, and grace¹.

- See more at: http://www.allaboutgod.com/definition-for-forgiveness faq.htm#sthash.Zv8smiZj.dpuf

Forgiveness

^32 “And there were also two other, malefactors, led with him to be put to death. ³³And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left. ³⁴Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots”; Lk: 23:32-34.

We forgive because we have been forgiven by God (Ephesians 4:32). God forgave us because of His tremendous love for humanity, and when we call on His Name we are forgiven. The act of love was shown on Calvary 2000 years ago.

Salvation

Biblical salvation is God's way of providing his people deliverance from sin and spiritual death through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. In the Old Testament, the concept of salvation is rooted in Israel's deliverance from Egypt in the Book of Exodus. The New Testament reveals the source of salvation in Jesus Christ. By faith in Jesus Christ, believers are saved from God's judgment of sin and its consequence—eternal death².

^39 “And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save thyself and us. ⁴⁰But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation? ⁴¹And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss. ⁴²And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom. ⁴³And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise”; Lk: 23: 39-43.

Affection

noun

1. fond attachment, devotion, or love: the affection of a parent for an only child.

2. Often, affections.

a. emotion; feeling; sentiment: over and above our reason and affections.

b. the emotional realm of love: a place in his affections.

3. Pathology . a disease, or the condition of being diseased; abnormal state of body or mind: a gouty affection.

4. the act of affecting; act of influencing or acting upon.

5. the state of being affected³.

²³“Then the soldiers, when they had crucified Jesus, took his garments, and made four parts, to every soldier a part; and also his coat: now the coat was without seam, woven from the top throughout . ²⁴They said therefore among themselves, Let us not rend it, but cast lots for it, whose it shall be : that the scripture might be fulfilled , which saith , They parted my raiment among them, and for my vesture they did cast lots. These things therefore the soldiers did . ²⁵Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene. ²⁶When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by , whom he loved , he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! ²⁷Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home;” Jn: 19:23-27.

Anguish

The noun anguish refers to severe physical or emotional pain or distress. A trip to the dentist might cause a cavity-prone person a lot of anguish. We get this word from a Latin word, angustus, which literally meant "narrow" but developed the figurative sense of "distressed" — think of being choked off or forced into a small space. In modern times anguish has been in the English with the parallel and related meanings of "physical torment" and "emotional suffering." Both kinds might be experienced at the hands of a dentist who likes to make his patients squirm in agony⁴.

⁴⁵Now from the sixth hour until the ninth hour there was darkness over all the land. ⁴⁶And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”^[a] ⁴⁷Some of those who stood there, when they heard that, said, “This Man is calling for Elijah!” Matt: 27:45-47.

Suffering

Noun

suffering - a state of acute pain

excruciation, agony

hurting, pain - a symptom of some physical hurt or disorder; "the patient developed severe pain and distension"

throe - severe spasm of pain; "the throes of dying"; "the throes of childbirth"

Passion of Christ, Passion - the suffering of Jesus at the Crucifixion⁵

²⁸After this, Jesus knowing that all things were now accomplished, that the scripture might be fulfilled, saith, I thirst. ²⁹Now there was set a vessel full of vinegar: and they filled a spunge with vinegar, and put it upon hyssop, and put it to his mouth; Jn: 19:28-29.

Victory

Victory (from Latin victoria) is a term, originally applied to warfare, given to success achieved in personal combat, after military operations in general or, by extension, in any competition. Success in a military campaign is considered a strategic victory, while the success in a military engagement is a tactical victory⁶.

noun, plur al vic·to·ries.

1. a success or triumph over an enemy in battle or war.

2. an engagement ending in such triumph: American victories in the Pacific were won at great cost.

3. the ultimate and decisive superiority in any battle or contest: The new vaccine effected a victory over poliomyelitis.

4. a success or superior position achieved against any opponent, opposition, difficulty, etc.: a moral victory.

5. (initial capital letter) the ancient Roman goddess Victoria, often represented in statues or on coins as the personification of victory⁷.

³⁰When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, It is finished: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost;”Jn: 19:30.

Contentment

Contentment is the acknowledgement and satisfaction of reaching capacity. The level of capacity reached may be sought after, expected, desired, or simply predetermined as the level in which provides contentment⁸.

⁴⁴And it was about the sixth hour, and there was a darkness over all the earth until the ninth hour. ⁴⁵And the sun was darkened, and the veil of the temple was rent in the midst. ⁴⁶And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost; Lk: 23:44-46.

Godliness and contentment are indeed rare gems, but since they can only be found inseparably combined, they are the rarest of gem to be found in man⁹. "Hearken, my beloved brethren, Hath not God chosen the poor of this world rich in Faith, and heirs of the Kingdom which He hath promised to them that love Him?" (James 2:5).

Look at the Cross, think of the cross, meditate on the cross, and then go and set your affections on the world if you can. I believe that holiness is no where learned so well as on Calvary. - J.C. Ryle.

It was good counsel one gave, “Never let go out of your minds the thoughts of a crucified Christ.” Let these be food and drink unto you; let them be your sweetness and consolation, your honey and your desire, your reading and your meditation, your life, death, and resurrection.- Thomas Brooks.

Song of Solomon Chapter 4

The apostle Paul (see Paul's Ministry) also used physical love as an analogy for Christ and His "bride" e.g. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.¹⁰" (Ephesians 5:25-27 KJV).

"Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes within thy locks: thy hair is as a flock of goats, that appear from mount Gilead. Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which came up from the washing; whereof every one bear twins, and none is barren among them. Thy lips are like a thread of Scarlet, and thy speech is comely: thy temples are like a piece of a pomegranate within thy locks. Thy neck is like the tower of David builded for an armoury, whereon there hang a thousand bucklers, all shields of mighty men. Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies. Until the day break, and the shadows flee away, I will get me to the mountain of myrrh, and to the hill of Frankincense. Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee.

Come with me from Lebanon, my spouse, with me from Lebanon: look from the top of Amana, from the top of Shenir and Hermon, from the lions' dens, from the mountains of the leopards. Thou hast ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse; thou hast ravished my heart with one of thine eyes, with one chain of thy neck. How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse! how much better is thy love than wine! and the smell of thine ointments than all Spices! Thy lips, O my spouse, drop as the honeycomb: honey and milk are under thy tongue; and the smell of thy garments is like the smell of Lebanon.

A garden enclosed is my sister, my spouse; a spring shut up, a fountain sealed. Thy plants are an orchard of pomegranates, with pleasant fruits; camphire, with Spikenard, Spikenard and saffron; calamus [see also Calamus or Cannabis?] and Cinnamon, with all trees of frankincense; myrrh and aloes, with all the chief spices: A fountain of gardens, a well of living waters, and streams from Lebanon.

Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits." (Song of Solomon 4:1-16 KJV)

Humility and love are precisely the graces which the men of the world can understand, if they do not comprehend doctrines. They are the graces about which there is no mystery, and they are within reach of all classes. The poorest Christian can every day find occasion for practicing love and humility. - J.C. Ryle

Isn’t that True love?

Website References:

¹Definition for Forgiveness - AllAboutGOD.com

www.allaboutgod.com/definition-for-forgiveness-faq.htm

Definition for Forgiveness - Read a definition of forgiveness and thoughts about when to forgive, how to help others forgive, and what to do when you don’t feel ...

²Salvation - What is God's Plan of Salvation?

christianity.about.com/od/conversion/p/salvation.htm

An Easy Explanation of Biblical Salvation: Biblical salvation is God's way of providing his people deliverance from sin and spiritual death through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. Jesus, the perfect God-man, came to offer the pure, complete and everlasting sacrif... More »

³Affection | Define Affection at Dictionary.com

dictionary.reference.com/browse/Affection

noun 1. fond attachment, devotion, or love : the affection of a parent for an only child. 2. Often, affections. a. emotion; feeling; sentiment: over and above our ...

⁴anguish - Dictionary Definition : Vocabulary.com

www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/anguish

The noun anguish refers to severe physical or emotional pain or distress. A trip to the dentist might cause a cavity-prone person a lot of anguish .

⁵suffering - definition of suffering by the Free Online ...

www.thefreedictionary.com/suffering

The Scene of Suffering is a destructive or painful action, such as death on the stage, bodily agony, wounds and the like.

⁶Victory - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victory

Victory (from Latin victoria) is a term, originally applied to warfare, given to success achieved in personal combat, after military operations in general or, by ...

⁷Victory | Define Victory at Dictionary.com

dictionary.reference.com/browse/victory

noun, plural victories. 1. a success or triumph over an enemy in battle or war. 2. an engagement ending in such triumph: American victories in the Pacific were won at ...

⁸Contentment - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contentment

Contentment is the acknowledgement and satisfaction of reaching capacity. The level of capacity reached may be sought after, expected, desired, or simply ...

⁹What the Bible Says About Contentment

www.whatsaiththescripture.com/Fellowship/What_Bible_Contentment.html

Godliness and contentment are indeed rare gems. They are the rarest of gem to be found in man.

¹⁰Daily Bible Study - Song of Solomon 2-4

www.keyway.ca/htm2008/20080114.htm

Daily Bible Study. Bible. Discover the amazing truth of the Gospel. Eternal life ... a well of living waters" (Song of Solomon 4:15 KJV) ultimately describe? See ...

Monday, April 14, 2014

Scriptural view for Marriage

God’s Word for life and especially marriage can be focused on many areas. Attitude, children, commitment, contentment, courage, decisions we make, differences between spouses, how we face difficult times, and the encouragement we need as couples. Faithfulness in marriage, dealing with finances, forgiveness, future goals, grace that is needed for day to day living, healing, hope and joy in all circumstances are the overall package in a marriage.

Patience which is the fruit of the spirit is essential for building strong marriage. Peace, perseverance, prayer life is the back bone in marriage and the Bible calls us to pray in all circumstances. Dealing with pride, and dealing with misplaced priorities, resolving conflicts and rest and renewal for the body, mind and spirit are essential in any marriage. Romance is part of marriage and along with that how do we serve our spouse, and do we both grow spiritually is a constant challenge in any marriage? The strength that is needed, thankful heart, trust in marriage and is our love for each other genuine becomes a continuous ache in many marriages. Wisdom and discernment, working together as couple, and unity as brothers and sisters in Christ, and how do we handle worry are continuous tug of war in most marriages. With all of our differences, and individuality how do we worship the true Triune God?

Book of Nehemiah chapter 3, talks about the rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem. The work was divided in such a way so that without contention and separate interests every one has a part to play, and it is for the good of the public and in other words for common good and common interest. Even some females have work to do, and nobles did the work without contention for the common good of the people. If each does his or her part to mend the walls of Jerusalem, over all the walls are mended.

The present state of the walls of Jerusalem in heaps and rubbles show the desperate need of or the state of the world around us. When people try to hinder the rebuilding of Jerusalem that represent the malice of the enemies who contend with, while executing the work of God. When we work together, we can defend the cause of truth and godliness and against the assaults of the enemies. The workers without complaint stood next to each other shoulder to shoulder focusing on their own sections.

There is a principle from the above with the marriage relationship. Different marriages are different and their situations, circumstances, and goals are different, but working for the common purpose. Some marriages have incredible parenting challenges, some have serious medical issues to cope with, some marriages have financial difficulties and this may terribly affect the marriage relationships, and some may have trust issues because one spouse could have deflated the trust in their marriage. Whatever the cause or circumstances of the marriages, this shows in general all marriages suffer under the weight of Fall. Fall has tremendously affected the first Divine Institution God has ordained and we all need help and we need God desperately. In other words every marriage has this ‘wall’ which has been crumbled, and in rubbles and this needs attention and needs to be rebuilt!

Very often we begin to realize the Omniscience of God, when we look at our spouse; totally different, may come with different gifting made in the image of God; and God has united this couple for a special purpose. It is possible one spouse with tremendous gifts to overcome difficult situations may be linked with one having patience to endure. One impatient spouse would have been connected in marriage to rub shoulders with a patient one; and God in His Omniscience would know that will be the perfect match to fulfill His purpose and to learn from each other. Marriage becomes a school where we learn to work with each other, learn from each other as one flesh. Very often one spouse’s strength is another spouse’s weakness.

So patience is the fruit of the Spirit and the Word of God says that patience is better than pride. To build a marriage we all have to work on this particular fruit of the Spirit. ⁸Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. ⁹Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools; Ecc: 7:8-9; KJV. Scriptures to support patience in marriage are: 1 Cori: 13:4-7; Prov: 14:29; Romans: 8:25; Galatians 5:22-23; Psalm: 37:3-7; Psalm: 40:1-3; 2 Cori: 1:6-7.

Above all other relationships, marriage relationship requires heavy doses of forgiveness. As a basic principle for forgiveness, God wants us to forgive our offenders, whether they ask for forgiveness or not. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors; Matt: 6:12; KJV. Forgiveness is a means of getting over the valleys of anger, and depression and bitterness. It is important to forgive so that the person who was offended will not get into the down ward spiral of depth. When the offended forgives the offender, this in fact releases the offended and this person becomes free, even if the differences are in temperament or violations of trust. This may be humanly impossible, but the offended is not operating on his or her strength, but working with the Omniscient God Who knows it all.

If we read Genesis chapters 42-45, we see that Joseph had a chance to take vengeance on his brothers who sold him into slavery, but he decided to forgive them. The brothers of Joseph did not ask him forgiveness, but God gave Joseph grace and he forgave his brothers voluntarily. Each one of us has the freedom and responsibility to choose to forgive or not forgive our offenders. The intimacy of marriage not only brings joy, but also many moments of hurt which may be small or some could be huge. Love not only means to say sorry when we are wrong, but more importantly choosing to forgive, even before we are asked. This is God’s school of training us in love and changing us into His image and likeness. I understand this is a very hard school of training, but can we trust that God is training us for something glorious?

One of the ways of solving conflicts in marriage would be to keep short accounts with God, and with our spouse. Agreeing on a direction for couple’s relationship, or family matters or in areas of conflict can be a huge hurdle, and praying becomes harder as a couple. Bringing family matters to the throne room of God every day in prayer helps a family not only drawn closer to God, but also continually builds the ruined walls! When handled with a prayerful heart very often conflicts become an area of growth, where God shows areas or issues of our heart which needs attention.

Where is true love? Ephesians 5:21-32; talks about the true marriage, Christ and Church as the model for our Marriage on this part of eternity. ²¹Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.²²Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.²³For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.²⁴Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.²⁵Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;²⁶That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,²⁷That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.²⁸So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.²⁹For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:³⁰For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.³¹For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.³²This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

While the above is the model for True love, to attain this at this part of eternity seem to be a huge struggle and hurdle in this Fallen world. While our earthly relationships let us down again and again, our relationship with God can genuinely and fully meet our deepest needs for significance and self-worth. I am constantly reminded of Psalm 23, and this could be a poetic reminder to every married person when one faces difficulty in marriage. Our good Shepherd is always there to restore us, especially our soul which is made in the image and likeness of God, and He is able to comfort, meet one’s needs and deepest longing and desires of our soul. What a great comfort a child of God has!

Genesis 50, talks about Joseph’s life and how his needs were met by his earthly father till one day to his shock when he lost it all. When Joseph’s jealous brothers sold him to slavery in a moment Joseph lost everything including his family. In the long journey to Egypt where was Joseph’s trust? Probably Joseph would have never learned depending on God completely, but for his difficult circumstances in a foreign land. Some times life was thrashing down but his trust was in God; But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive; Gen 50:20.

Whom do we put our trust in good times and bad times? Some may trust people in higher position, and some may trust in family members and some may even trust in their possessions. Remember just like Joseph things could be gone in a minute and if we put our trust in people invariably they will disappoint us. If our happiness and trust comes from people and things this would inevitably lead us to misery and loss of hope. ⁷Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is.⁸For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit; Jer:17:7-8.

One can not look for happiness and security in marriage because this is putting too much security and pressure in marriage. Happiness, security, self-worth, and confidence should come from the One who formed us in our mother’s womb and knows our frame. He will never leave nor forsake us, because His love is true and is unconditional.

In quietness and confidence shall be your strength - Isaiah 30:15. Are we limiting God by the way we think? Imagine a circumstance that we consider as really bad. We can use whatever descriptive words we want- difficult, hard, agonizing, frustrating, strenuous, debilitating, horrific, sorrowful, confusing, perturbing, penetrating or painful. Is there a problem too awful or too hard for God to handle? If our answer to this question is anything other than "no"" our understanding of God is too small. Our God is a great and limitless God. He dwells in eternity and operates in infinity. He has all things within His understanding and all things under His control.

In companies when one owns 51% of the shares, that person has all the say than the one who owns 49% of the shares. So in general people try to get the 51% of their shares so they have all the say. The question here would be: Is God really in our marriage? If He is, what is the percentage of His partnership in our marriage? How much do we really want to involve God in our marriage?

Website References:

1. Nehemiah Chapter 3 - THE STUDY BIBLE

www.thestudybible.org/Nehemiah-3

The book of Nehemiah chapter 3 from the King James Bible Online. The Study Bible. Search keywords in the Bible: Find a specific verse: Chapter ...

Book references:

1. Peter Scazzero. Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. Thomas Nelson Publishers; 2011.

2. Goldenberg, I and H. Goldenberg. Family Therapy: An overview, 8^th Edition. Pacific Grove,

CA: Brookes/ColePublishing, 2007.

3. God’s Words of Life on Marriage @2000 by Zondervan, ISBN 0-310-98358-4

Other references:

1. Allender, Dan and Tremper Longman III. Intimate Allies. Carol Stream, Illinois: Tyndale House publishers, 1995.
2. Goldenberg, I and H. Goldenberg. Family Therapy: An overview, 8^th Edition. Pacific Grove, CA: Brookes/Cole Publishing, 2007.

3. Richardson, R.W. Family Ties that Bind. Vancouver B.C: International Self - Counsel Press Ltd, 1995.

4. Thomas Garry. Sacred Marriage, What if God designed marriage more to make us holy than to make us happy. Toronto: Harper Collins Canada, 2002.

5. Mary E.DeMuth. Author of Ordinary Mom, Extraordinary God, Authentic parenting in a postmodern culture, practical help for shaping your children’s hearts, minds, and souls. Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, 2007.

6. William T. kirwan. Biblical Concepts for Christian Counseling, A case for integrating Psychology and Theology. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Baker Book House, 1984.

Recommended reading & resources:

7. Dr. Larry Crabb. Effective Biblical Counseling, How caring Christians can become capable counselors. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan Publishing House, 1977.

8. Everett L. Worthington JR. Hope-focused marriage counseling, Author of forgiving and reconciling, A Guide to brief therapy. Illinois: IVP Academic, Intervarsity Press, 2005.

9. Barkley, Russell & Robin, Arthur. Your Defiant Teen, 10 Steps to resolve conflict and rebuild your relationship. New York: A division of Guilford Publications, 2008.

10. David Furlong. Healing your family patterns, how to access the past to heal the present. London: Judy Piatkus (Publishers) Ltd, 1997.