Friday, September 5, 2014

Gender Roles- a Glimpse


Then God said “Let us make human kind in our image according to our likeness and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over the cattle and over all the wild animals of the earth.” So God created humankind in His image. In the image of God He created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth”; Gen: 1:26-28.

18 And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. 19 And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature that was the name thereof. 20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found a help meet for him.

21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed; Gen 2:18-25.

Outline of creation
1. God created man first from dust of the earth (2:7)
2. God created women second from Adam, and unlike the rest of creation, the woman is taken from other creation, not nature (2:22)
3. Adam names woman Eve (2:23)
4. Man/wife relationship reason for man to leave his family to be with wife (2:24)

In Genesis 3, we find that sin enters in and the gender roles begin to mix up when man and woman began to sin together. In the cool of the day when God comes to them, He calls for Adam and for the first time he began to feel ashamed before the Holy God, and also shifted the blame on the woman for his disobedience. The curses given to man and woman separately was for all mankind, and the emphasis of the curse was different for man from the woman. If I could brief up the curses, we find that for the man, God talks about the difficulty in his work, and for the woman difficulty of her relationship, especially with her family; husband and children.
5. Satan tempts Eve to disobey (3:1)
6. Eve brings Adam into the matter (3:6)
7. Women are cursed because of Eve's actions (3:16)
8.   Men are cursed because of Adam's actions (3:1)
In understanding relationships it is important to understand the physical and emotional differences typical to men and women; and we have to keep in mind that men and women are wired differently. One should be very aware not to clone the emotional nature of the other person and this will be a huge mistake because God made us to be different. It is very important to keep the main goal as to attentively communicate with each other and expose from each perspective the issues that come along, very carefully. This is very important especially in a marriage relationship and the merging perspective is often a better one than the conclusion of just the man's or the woman's initial opinion.
Masculine: In general very strong physically, more realistic, logical, objective, literal, aggregate thinker, slow to judgement, and doers or very task oriented.
Feminine: In general are physically weaker, more idealistic, intuitive, subjective to feelings, tangential, grasps details, quick to judgement, and very family oriented.
In general one can say: there are two worlds in our thought life impacting decisions. One is the world of objective reality, and the other is the world of subjective world of imaginations. The world of imaginations includes speculating on the intent and motives of others and when unguarded imaginations inflict havoc and one had to be really careful.

Having said the above and the different wiring for male and female it was observed that in the realm of objective reality, the wife has an indispensable role. It is observed and research has shown that men find their wives often have better judgement in matters of detail. This is a gift of God, and that should not be despised, because it will be like despising the Giver of all gifts. There are many examples in the Bible which shows that men and women are different in the way they deal things, but they are empowered by God differently and uniquely to accomplish God’s purposes in this earth. For example if Moses's father is insensitive to the detail as many men are and had woven the basket that floated baby Moses, the child could have drowned!

“But these lapses [of being in love while married] will not destroy a marriage between two "decent and sensible" people. The couple whose marriage will certainly be endangered by them, and possibly ruined, are those who have idolized Eros. They thought he had the power and truthfulness of a god. They expected that mere feeling would do for them, and permanently, all that was necessary. When this expectation is disappointed they throw the blame on Eros or, more usually, on their partners. In reality, however, Eros, having made his gigantic promise and shown you in glimpses what its performance would be like, has "done his stuff." He, like a godparent, makes the vows; it is we who must keep them. It is we who must labor to bring our daily life into even closer accordance with what the glimpses have revealed. We must do the works of Eros when Eros is not present. This all good lovers know, though those who are not reflective or articulate will be able to express it only in a few conventional phrases about "taking the rough along with the smooth," not "expecting too much," having "a little common sense," and the like. And all good Christian lovers know that this programme, modest as it sounds, will not be carried out except by humility, charity and divine grace; that it is indeed the whole Christian life seen from one particular angle”. C.S Lewis.-The Four Loves, p. 114-115.
Wise men respect the view of their wives and respect their wives' talents, and when they listen to their wives' talents they gain better perspectives and often gain superior understanding. It is also important that husbands speak to their wives in softer tone and even when spoken in kindness loud words can be misconstrued and they seem heavier to a women’s heart than men. This is how they are wired and the Bible says they are weaker vessels. In the subjective realm of imagination and speculation their roles are reversed. Men in general have the God given capacity and responsibility to be a sponge that diffuses the speculation of their wives. Some times when the husband says to his wife we will wait on the Lord, it will be wiser and safer for her to respectfully listen to him. Below are some quotes from C.S Lewis to think through for God’s glory and for the blessing of humanity.

“Christian writers (notably Milton) have sometimes spoken of the husband's headship with a complacency to make the blood run cold. We must go back to our Bibles. The husband is the head of the wife just in so far as he is to her what Christ is to the Church. He is to love her as Christ loved the Church—read on—and give his life for her” (Eph. V, 25).- C.S Lewis. -The Four Loves, p. 105
“The sternest feminist need not grudge my sex the crown offered to it either in the Pagan or in the Christian mystery. For the one is of paper and the other of thorns”. - C.S Lewis. -The Four Loves, p. 106
If we look at the world we often can tremble at the things which are happening and both believers and non-believers are equally shocked and divided over gender roles and there is a craving for everyone for a safety net. When the Word of God talks about gender roles it is focused on Church and the family and that is my focus here. Starting from business, to politics, healthcare, law enforcement, science, research and development, art and education, there is no safety net for repentance and forgiveness when one hurt the other. There is no covenantal commitment outside the church and the family and indeed church and family offers that safety net which will free us. Because of Christ and Church relationship as is written in the Word of God and in Eph: 5:21-33; the safety net will free us to swing this trapeze with confidence. If one member falls, the body of believers will be there to catch us and will help those who are weak to climb up and move forward once again.  

Men and women are a team of separate but necessary for smooth functioning and if they would dance together for the common goal that will be amazing. This is almost like two wings of an aeroplane not the same but corresponding beautifully and taking people to different destinations. My question here would be which wing is more important? I would say we need them both to play their separate roles for the common cause.
“In regular society we are all people, citizens, soldiers, employees, gender neutral descriptions.  We march in lockstep wearing the uniforms of our social or political status.  What a gift it is, then, to come into the home or the church and done our ball gowns and tuxedos.  Some of us dance forward, some of us dance backward.  This is a gift from God not to be despised or to be taken lightly”. - C.S. Lewis. 

Book Reference:
1. Allender, Dan and Tremper Longman III. Intimate Allies. Carol Stream.: Tyndale House publishers, 1995.
2. Jay E. Adams. Critical Stages of Biblical Counseling, Finishing Well, Breaking Through, Getting Started.  New Jersey: Zondervan, 2002.
3.
Jay E. Adams. How to Help People Change, The Four-step Biblical Process. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1986.
4. John F. MacArthur, JR. Wayne A. Mack & The Master’s College Faculty. Introduction To Biblical Counseling, A Basic Guide To The Principles And Practice Of Counseling. Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1994.
5.
Jay E. Adams. Lectures on Counseling. Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1978, p.192-203.
6. The Holy Bible, New King James Version, Women of Destiny Bible. Women Mentoring women Through the Scriptures, A Spirit Filled Life Bible. Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1982.
7. Allender, Dan and Tremper Longman III. Intimate Allies. Carol Stream: Tyndale House publishers, 1995; pgs, 301, 346.
8. Allender, Dan and Tremper Longman III. Intimate Allies. Carol Stream: Tyndale House publishers, 1995; pg331.
9. David A. Norris. Lasting Success; Quality Decisions, Relationships and Untamed Emotions. Ames, Iowa: Alpha Heartland Press, 2003.

Website Reference:
williamsofield.wordpress.com/2007/11/02/gender-roles-in-the-bible
2007-11-02 · When the Bible talks about gender roles, it only talks about them in the context of family and church. ... think that from a biblical perspective, ...
Gender Roles In A Biblical Perspective For The Orthodox Christians In The American Context. Written By: Fr. Dr. Jacob Mathew on Jun 12th, 2010 and filed under ...
Gender Issues from a Biblical Perspective: A Response to Evangelical Feminism. When dealing with the historical relationships between the church and gender, ...

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