Working to see real Biblical change in an individual is the goal of Biblical counselling. Scripture is the ultimate authority and source for biblical counselling. The goal during this process is to help the disciple grow to maturity in Christ, and to walk consistently according to God’s Word. The discipler equips the individual so that ultimately that person in turn begins to build biblical principles into the lives of others; 2Tim:2:2.
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” 2 Tim 3:16-17.
“The Word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Heb.4:12.
The Holy Spirit is the principal person in Biblical counselling because Jesus Christ now dwells in His church in the person of the Holy Spirit. Persons involved in counselling are always more than two: Counselor, the counselee, and the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit is the ultimate source of all true healing and wholeness in biblical counselling. Training and competence in skills are needed, but such skills are used in dependence on the Holy Spirit.
a. As we do the Lord’s work Holy Spirit is always the primary counsellor and He works powerfully and sovereignly through His written Word. He brings people to the conviction of sin and to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ through His Word.
b. It is by the Scriptures he teaches them how to love God and their neighbours as themselves, to live a life of faith and obedience in response to His saving grace.
c. Through the Scriptures the Holy Spirit comforts, rebukes, corrects, and trains people in righteousness.
d. By the power of the Holy Spirit the mind is renewed, 2 Cori: 10:3-6 and the counselee becomes aware of the following steps. 1. Becoming aware of the practice (pattern of sin) that must be dehabituated (put off).2. Discovering the biblical alternative; 3. Structuring the whole situation for change; 4. Breaking links in the chain of sin; 5. Getting help from others; 6. Stressing the whole relationship to Christ; 7. Practicing the new pattern (life in Christ).
God is at the centre of counselling: The Bible is authoritative, relevant and comprehensively sufficient for counseling. Christians have Holy Spirit working through the Word of God. Commitment to God has epistemological consequences: Other sources of knowledge must be submitted to the authority of Scripture. Sciences, personal experiences, literature and so forth may be useful but may not play a constitutive role in counseling. There is a conflict of counsel built into human life; Gen 3, Psa1, and Jer 23. Counsel that contradicts God’s counsel has existed since the Garden of Eden, challenging God’s counsel and building from other presuppositions and towards other goals. False counsel and secular psychology has intruded into the domain of biblical truth. Secular theories and therapies substitute for biblical wisdom and deceive people both inside and outside the church. The false claimants to Biblical authority must be exposed and opposed.
Sin in all its dimensions (e.g., both motive and behaviour; both the sins we do and the sins done against us; both the consequences of personal sin and the consequences of Adam’s sin) must be the primary problem a Counselor must deal with. Sin is habitual and very deceptive, and much of the difficulty of counseling consists in bringing specific sins to awareness and breaking its hold. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is the answer: The forgiveness of sin and the power to change into Christ’s image are the greatest needs of mankind. Christ deals with sin: the guilt, the power, the deception, and the misery of sin. Christ reigns over our hearts by the power of the Holy Spirit and He will return to complete the redemption of His people. These core truths that must be infused in the goal of the counseling process.
In the change process, counseling aims at progressive sanctification: There are many ways of changing people but Biblical Counseling aims for nothing less than the transformation into the image of Jesus Christ amid the rough and tumble of daily life. Change is not instantaneous but progressive which is ongoing repentance, renewal of mind unto Biblical truth, and obedience in the power of the Holy Spirit. All difficulties operate within the Sovereign design of God. In these difficult situations hearts are revealed, and faith and obedience are purified through the battle between the Spirit and the flesh. In other words influential aspects of one’s life situation do not cause sin. For example: heredity, temperament, personality, culture, oppression and evil, bereavement, handicaps, old age, Satan, Physical illness are all significant for counselling but are not ultimately causative for sin.
Counseling is basically a pastoral activity so must be church based: It must be regulated under the authority of God’s appointed under-shepherds. It is connected both structurally with teaching, preaching, and prayer, and church discipline, use of gifts, missions, worship and so forth. The difference between preaching and counselling are not conceptual but only methodological. There are three important critical sessions in Biblical counselling: the first session, the turning point session and the terminating session. Biblical counsellors need to think well, pray pointedly, and discuss actively to develop energetic and creative apologetic and evangelistic efforts to help people find the answers. Biblical counselling is by definition, a helping ministry through God’s Word and Spirit.
References:
1. John F. MacArthur, JR. Wayne A. Mack & The Master’s College Faculty, ‘Introduction To Biblical Counseling’, “A Basic Guide To The Principles And Practice Of Counseling”(Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers,1994, p. 63-97)
2. Jay E. Adams, ‘The Christian Counselor’s Manual, ‘The Practice of Nouthetic Counseling’ (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1973, p. 39-44)
3. Jay E. Adams, ‘Lectures on Counseling’ (Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1978, p.179-191)
4. Wim Malgo, ‘Biblical Counseling’ From Twenty- Five Years of the International Ministry by Wim Malgo, (Columbia: The Mid Night Call, 1979, p.9-12)
5. Gary L. Almy, M.D., ‘How Christian is Christian Counseling?’ The Dangerous Secular Influences That Keep Us From Caring For Souls, (Illinois: Crossway Books, Good News Publishers, 2000, p.31-67)
6. Jay E. Adams, ‘Critical Stages of Biblical Counseling’ Finishing Well, Breaking Through, Getting Started, (New Jersey: Zondervan, 2002, p. 5-7)
7. Jay E. Adams, ‘How to Help People Change’ The Four-step Biblical Process, (Grand rapids: Zondervan, 1986, p.3-9)
8. David G. Benner & Peter C. Hill, ‘Baker Encyclopaedia of Psychology & Counseling’ Second Edition, (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1985, 1999, p.568-569)
9. Jay E. Adams, ‘Christian Living In the Home’ (New Jersey: Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing Company, 1972, p.9-13)
Monday, September 27, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
How Great is our God!
God's Greatness: Psalm 8 (KJV)
1. O Lord our God, how excellent is Thy Name in all the earth! who hast set Thy glory above the heavens.
2. Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength because of Thine enemies, that Thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger.
3. When I consider Thy heavens, the work of Thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which Thou hast ordained;
4. What is man, that Thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that Thou visitest him?
5. For Thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour.
6. Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of Thy hands; Thou hast put all things under his feet:
7. All sheep and Oxen, yea, and the beasts of the field;
8. The fowl of the air, and the fish of the sea, and whatsoever passeth through the paths of the seas.
9. O Lord our Lord, how excellent is Thy Name in all the earth!
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." 3 Jn 16 (KJV). The love of God the Father is the origin of our regeneration by the Spirit and our reconciliation by the lifing up of the only Son Jesus Christ. He not only sent Him into the world to negotiate peace between heaven and earth, but He gave Him up to suffer and die for us as the great propitiation or expiatory sacrifice. Jesus Christ came and died for us so that we might not die by the sentence of the law. It is the unspeakable joy of all true believers for which we are debted to Jesus Christ, that we are saved from the miseries of hell and delivered from going to the pit. This salvation is avaiable to all who will accept Jesus Christ, they shall not die of their wounds in wilderness, but they shall reach Canaan and shall enjoy the promised rest.
"In quietness and confidence shall be your strength" - Isaiah 30:15. Are you limiting God by the way you think? Imagine a circumstance that you consider bad. Use whatever descriptive words you want to use - difficult, hard, agonizing, frustrating, strenuous, debilitating, horrific, sorrowful, confusing, perturbing, penetrating or painful. Is there a problem too awful or too hard for God to handle? If your answer to this question is anything other than "no"" your understanding of God is too small. Our God is a great and limitless God. He dwells in eternity and operates in infinity. He has all things within His understanding and all things under His control.
Rom 5:6; "For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly."(KJV) In a sad condition, helpless and totally lost...with no visible way open for our recovery, vile and obnoxious, unworthy of any favour from a Holy God, The Great God in His great plan gave His Son as a ransom for the whole world.
Whosoever believeth: Here is the great Gospel duty that is to believe in Lord Jesus Christ which is a great gift from a Great God! The intention of the Great Giver is so that man may not perish. One must yield an unfeigned assent and consent to the record God has given in His Word concerning His Son. One must give ourselves to be ruled, taught, saved by Him, which is God has taken away their sins and a pardon is purchased. This is good news to a convinced conscience, healing to the broken bones and bleeding wounds, that Christ indeed came not to condemn, but to save.
Look at the video: You Tube 'The Seven Wonders of the World' astermd, below and then answer this heart question.
What is that one thing which is stopping us from accepting this great gift from a Great God?
Reference:
The Matthew Henry Study Bible, King James Version, "The Best Matthew Henry's Notes in a Handy One Volume"; Reference Bible (Iowa Falls: World Bible Publishers Inc; 1994, 1997)
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Emotions!! How can emotions be changed biblically?
How can emotions be changed biblically?
(Helpful tips for marriages)
Emotions: This word is derived from the Latin ‘emovare’ meaning to move. Affect, passion, and mood are other words that describe some aspect of the same phenomenon.
The language of emotions has integral parts of feelings, attitude and behaviour. The language of Emotion the word feeling refers to the perception of bodily state as pleasant or unpleasant (I feel tired; I feel bad; I feel happy). Feelings may differ in intensity or kind, but basically there are 2 categories in which all may be classified: Good or Bad. Emotions like Anger, Hot temper, Bitterness, Resentment, Hate, depression, fear, anxiety, love, lust, evil desires, jealousy, envy, greed etc(Bad emotions). Peace, joy, love and rest are Good emotions. Passion is intense emotion, and mood is emotion of long duration. An attitude is a combination of presuppositions, beliefs, convictions, and opinions that make up one’s habitual stance at any time toward a subject, person or an act.1 The term behaviour is used to describe those activities of a whole person that may be judged by the law of God, and is responsible conduct.
They are like smoke detectors. They are not the primary problem but warnings of a primary problem. Check on the underlying problem that disturbs the emotions. Through the power of the Holy Spirit Christians have the ability to control the emotions and do what God wants them to do regardless of how they feel 1Cori: 10:13. Consider the first murder in Gen: 4:1-8; most likely it would not have happened if Cain was not that angry. That is why it is important to listen to counselees about how they feel and be sensitive to the effects of their emotions in their lives.
You see, emotions are in fact internal signals that are there to let you know there is a situation which may need attention in your life. A person who possesses emotional intelligence (i.e. is emotionally mature) will heed this signal and then self soothe and regain their composure without needing anyone else to help them and then later figure out what this emotion is signaling, and what might need to be done.
If action is needed, it should not be decided on in the heat of the moment. To best understand this, imagine that you in fact have two brains and the one that gets switched on when you are emotional (your amygdala) doesn't make the same quality of decisions that your other brain (your upper cortex) does. Now also understand that it's very hard to access information from both of these brains at once.
So anger does not mean that you will need to hit or yell at someone (to stop being taken advantage of), as your emotional brain may be telling you, instead it could mean that a real boundary needs to be set. Our emotions are not things we should need other people help dealing with on any regular basis or we will become a very difficult and demanding person to live with.
If you are in a painful relationship learning to take back control of your own happiness by learning the correct use of your emotions - may be the best skills you ever learn.
- Do you gossip about others behind their backs?
(I guess we have been doing that here and I hope that we have stayed honest and respectful (-:).
- Do you blame the problems in your life on others without looking at your own shortcomings?
- Do you fantasize about a life in which you will be loved and admired
(at the expense of your family around you)?
- Do you behave badly when you don't get your way?
Narcissism is easy to spot in others but so much harder to see in ourselves, but as we all want to be loved (deep down), let's not shy away from this challenge ...
Here are three ideas to help topple your false pride;
a. Admit something you are embarrassed about to someone close to you (and that you are embarrassed about it) and apologize if you need to.
b. If you have addictions, be honest with yourself and start to tackle them.
c. Vow to work on the small gaps in your character and admit to yourself that you must learn to crawl and walk before you keep trying to fly...
"My partner had been verbally abusing me for 3 years and my confidence hit an all time low. He criticized everything I did, the way I looked, my beliefs....nothing escaped. But once I understood ... it all changed and I changed. Bible has become my source of everything, and I found my confidence in Christ and Christ alone and He became my dear friend and the rock on which I stand. Even though the situations are bad God kept me focused on Him and His love all the time, and He became my absolute confidence. I am fully assured that nothing happens to me would go past Him without His knowledge and that gave me strength for every day’s life. God taught me how to love when it is not reciprocated, and I realized the situation slowy begin to change for the better. Now I look after him (my partner) and he looks after me, and slowly but surely I am learning to trust my partner again." – Report of a friend
Fight Busting
1. Do not bring up divorce or separation in the heat of an argument - This is NOT a decision to be made when you are upset ...
“Talking about divorce or separation during a fight will undoubtedly make the conflict worse.“
If your partner declares that they hate you and want to separate or other hurtful things during a fight, please remember they are mad and probably don’t mean what they are saying.
“We all say things that we don’t mean when we are angry.”
Don’t say: “I am leaving you” ....
Do say: “I am leaving the room to go calm down. I need some time to cool off”.
2. Don’t make ultimatums or threats > they will only come back to haunt you - If you try to force someone to do what you want by threatening them, it will always be at the expense of your relationship...
“Threats rarely work anyway; people do things more readily out of love than fear.”
Threats only breed resentment. If your partner’s behaviour is unacceptable you need to learn skills to set better boundaries for yourself and limit their unacceptable behaviour.
“Threats will only escalate the fighting.”
Don’t say: “Stop saying that or I will _______.”
Do say: “I don’t like the way you are talking to me and I am not prepared to discuss this now; I need time to cool off.”
3. Stop thinking you need your partner to do what you want them to right now - They can’t help you now because they are tied up dealing with their own negative emotions.
“Be wise and give both yourself and your partner some time and space to regain their composure.”
4.Take care of your own hurt - If you need to get away from your partner to feel safe and get some space to calm down do so but
“Say clearly where you are going, when you will be back and that you simply need some time to cool off because you are too upset to talk anymore. Then take care of yourself.”
If you can get time alone without being disturbed, stay where you are but don’t be waiting for your partner to come and see you to ‘make up’ or make you feel better. They need time to calm down too.
“If they walk out on you, forget about them for now and take care of yourself.”
If you have kids reassure them that you are OK and that things are going to be all right. No matter how hurt you feel inside, be brave and strong for your kids; they love strength in a parent and will look up to you for it.
If you can, ask a neighbour to watch the kids and then do something to feel better. This might include listening to calming music that you like, taking a walk somewhere nice, having a bath or shower or listening to the rain (or a recording of rain sounds). If there is no one to watch the kids, take them out for a walk or to the park and engage with them and be kind.
“Learning to soothe yourself and find your own natural true state of inner happiness, regardless of how your partner is feeling or behaving is one of the most important skills you can learn. It will empower you, make you more attractive and improve your relationship.”
5.Do not drink alcohol, use drugs or talk about the fight > these actions will only fuel your bad feelings - Likewise DO NOT work yourself up further by swinging your arms around, using a punching bag or chopping wood etc. It was once believed that this helped let off steam but it has been shown in many research studies that doing something calming is much better.
“You will change how you feel by changing your focus. Focus on something calm and beautiful and your feelings will eventually follow in that direction.”
Feelings change depending on what you focus on. Start by sitting or lying down or going for a walk. Give it a bit of time and the bad feelings will pass.
6. Decide NOT to think about the problem while you are upset - It takes nearly two days to calm down completely once you have really lost your cool.
“Make a note on a piece of paper of what first upset you but then make a firm decision to leave it till you are completely calm before you think about it again or decide what you will do about it.”
The voice in our head when we are angry tells us to do things that we will usually regret later.
“Smart and successful people do not listen to this voice in the heat of the moment and do not take too personally what others say to us when they are angry or upset.” Ecc: 7:20-23
7. No matter how much you feel like hurting your partner by saying or doing mean things, try to be honest about your own hurt instead - Say “I feel very hurt about what you are saying and I need some time to calm down. I hope that we can get past this”. You can also reassure your partner that you will stand by them and that even though you are angry you will not leave them (if you can do this honestly).
“Having the courage to admit your hurt and vulnerability and also your love for them is much more courageous and powerful than trying to control your partner with aggression or intimidation.”
Don’t say: “I have always hated you, you are a fat slob.”
Do say: “I feel very hurt by what you are saying and I am very angry at you, but I do love you too so right now I need some time to calm down before I say anything that I really don’t mean.”
8. if your partner is not answering you, understand it may be because they are overwhelmed -
This generally happens to men faster than women.
“When faced with criticism or conflict it is very human to reach a point where we just freeze up. Understand this and don’t make the mistake of thinking that your partner is ignoring you or trying to hurt you further.”
Silence in a fight equals emotional overwhelm and you need to give your partner time to recover their emotional balance before they can talk to you again.
Don’t say: “Stop ignoring me!”
Do say: “I need some time to cool off and you probably do too - I am going to take some time out. I am not attacking you, we can talk about this later”.
9.Don’t ignore what the fight was about - Refer to the note you made (about what triggered the fight) a few days later once you are calm and then decide what action needs to be taken.
“Anger is a clear sign that a boundary of yours has been crossed and you need to work on how you are going to defend it. Complaining to your partner probably won’t help.”
Note: a boundary is just like it sounds, it is the line of what behaviour you find comfortable accepting from others. If someone is rude to you for instance this line has been ‘trespassed’. Working on your boundaries later is just as important as you calming yourself down in the heat of the moment.
10. Don’t bring up the conversation again until you have decided how you are going to defend this boundary so it is not crossed again - You should leave this at least two or three days.
“Complaining to your partner is not setting a boundary.”
You need to let them know what the consequences will be which should be fair and just and not include you being angry, punishments or threats.
Don’t say: “If you insult me again I will leave you.”
Do say: “I love you but I want you to stop insulting me. If you can’t stop I will need to seek outside help to protect myself from your insults. If you don’t stop I may need to get our doctor/minister/the police/your boss to talk to you about how they might help you move past this.”
Please do not involve your partner’s family or friends in this!
11. When you see your partner again be ready to offer an olive branch - When you first see your partner again, soon after the fight, say that you need a few days to think about what you were fighting about and that you don’t want to talk about it right now.
“Try and be light and remember that admitting that you are sorry or embarrassed might be hard but is actually very attractive.”
You will have a chance to work on the boundary that was crossed and what you can do to defend it better later, but for now just remember what you value about your relationship and what you have in common.
“It is easy for fights to flare again in the two days after an upset, so give it time for you to both completely calm down before you tackle the issue again.”
Don’t think that talking through the issue must happen for things to get better. Take care of your own negative feelings (self soothe) and set your own boundaries.
12. Don’t make excuses that the conflict must be resolved immediately - The more pressing the matter, the more important it is that you take the time to calm down.
“If your partner is uncooperative and you need their help, then change your plans and organize things differently without needing them.”
Practicing this will help you become more flexible and you will slowly get better at it. You will probably never change your initial reaction to anger or upset, but you can change how you respond to this reaction. Just like exercising a muscle, you will get better at this with practice.
When you feel your emotions flare think:
“Now I have a great chance to exercise self control”.
This is not about bottling up your emotions. It is healthy and a good sign that you get angry when you are treated rudely, but it is also healthy (and very important for your own success in life) that you are able to decide to let the anger go and wait till you are completely calm again to deal with the problem. If it is appropriate say that you are angry but learn to regulate and control your response and to take note of what angered you and make sure you take the time to deal with it later once you are calm again.
“Anger is a clear sign that something is amiss in our life, but you will not gain anything by acting out your anger in the heat of the moment.” Practice these skills and you will see every aspect of your life improve...
Through the power of the Holy Spirit, we Christians have the ability to control our emotions and do what God wants us to do regardless of how we feel; 1 Cori: 10:13. On the other hand, emotions are powerful enough to make it much harder to do what is right. Muscular, galvanic, Visceral and other emotional responses of the body are responses to judgements made about the environment and oneself. These judgements trigger body chemistry to orient the body in a particular direction to meet a specific situation. This body orientation accounts for the feeling. The basic way to break the vicious cycle of strong negative emotions is to help the counselee understand the Biblical criteria for assurance and help them make the judgements on the basis of these.
Examples: Anger is not in itself sinful: Ps: 7:11 (God is angry with the wicked); 1 Kin: 11:9 (God was angry with Solomon); 2 King: 17:18 (God was angry with Israel); Mar: 3:5 (Jesus was angry with the Pharisees). Anger is a strong emotion and in Gen: 4:1-8; 4:4; 8; we see Cain had become very angry that leads to Murder his brother Abel. His anger was the result of sinful pride and could have been eliminated through repentance; without this repentance his anger provided the impetus for the most heinous of crimes.
Eve’s sin began with lusting which is a strong emotion as in Gen:3:6 “When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it”; is the temptation and fall of man.
The Escape to Egypt: Matt: 2:13-18; Herod was jealous when he heard Jesus was born. Herod King of the Jews killed all the boys less than 2 years of age in an obsessive attempt to kill Jesus, the new born King. He stained his hands with blood but could not harm Jesus God’s Son. Herod was King by human appointment and Jesus was King by Divine appointment.
Scriptures to overcome ungodly emotions: Be slow to become angry; Prov: 14:16-17; 29; Jam: 1:19-20. Love covers a multitude of sins and over look many offenses; Pro: 10:12; 12:16; 17:9; 19:11; 1 Pet: 4:8. Seek the way of love; 1 Cor: 13:4-5. Hot words stir up strife; Prov: 15:1. A hot-tempered man creates dissension; Prov: 15:18. Do not associate wit the hot tempered man; Pro: 22:24-25. Control yourself; Prov: 25:28; 29:22; 30:33. Fits of rage belong to your sinful nature, the way of sin; Gal: 5:19-21. Through the Spirit you can overcome the sin of a hot temper; Gal: 5:22-25; Col: 3:8. Handle anger in a godly way and do not let the sun go down on your anger; Eph: 4:26. Jesus said that one who is angry with his brother without a cause will be subject to judgement; Matt: 5:21-22. Say no to ungodly passions; Tit: 2:11-12. Christ came to save us from lust and evil desires; Eph: 2:4-5. Not to conform to evil desires; 1 Pet: 1:14-16; 1 Pet: 2:11. Live by the Spirit to overcome the lusts of the flesh; Gal 5:16.
Emotions are feelings that come over you, irrespective of circumstances or in response to a particular circumstance. Scriptures which help us during difficult times are Psa: 31 (my times are in Your hands) and Ecc 7 (In good times be happy and in adversity consider). Heart is the seat of all emotions; has memory of all our past and what is happening now and has fixed thoughts, patterns of thoughts and beliefs. Scripture tells us to guard our hearts by all means because out of it overflows the issues of life. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.
Notes:
1. Typical attitude toward a problem may be discovered in the following responses: I don’t know what to do” …. “There is no problem”…..” I don’t care”
References:
1. John F. MacArthur, JR. Wayne A. Mack & The Master’s College Faculty, ‘Introduction To Biblical Counseling’, “A Basic Guide To The Principles And Practice Of Counseling” (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1994; p. 12-17)
2. Jay E. Adams, ‘A theology of Christian Counseling; More than Redemption: How sin affects Thinking’ (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1979, p.102-104; 114-115; 202; 218; 260)
3. John G. Kuris, ‘Quick Scripture Reference for Counselling’; (Grand Rapid: Baker Books, Third edition: 1988, 1994, 2000, p.70, 174)
4. Jay E. Adams, ‘How to Help People Change’ The Four-step Biblical Process, (Grand rapids: Zondervan, 1986, p.47-48)
5. David G. Benner & Peter C. Hill, ‘Baker Encyclopaedia of Psychology & Counseling’ Second Edition, (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1985, 1999, p.392-397)
6. Jay E. Adams, ‘The Christian Counselor’s Manual, ‘The Practice of Nouthetic Counseling’ (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1973, P.109-116; 349; 420))
7. Jay E. Adams, ‘Competent to Counsel, ‘Introduction To Nouthetic Counseling’ (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1970, p.220-248)
8. David Powlison, “Seeing with New Eyes” Counseling and Human Condition Through the Lens of Scripture, (New Jersey P& R Publishing Company, 2003, p. 211-223)
9. Fightbusters; http://www.fightbusters.com/Fight_Busting.html 12 steps to end a domestic fight or argument
(Helpful tips for marriages)
Emotions: This word is derived from the Latin ‘emovare’ meaning to move. Affect, passion, and mood are other words that describe some aspect of the same phenomenon.
The language of emotions has integral parts of feelings, attitude and behaviour. The language of Emotion the word feeling refers to the perception of bodily state as pleasant or unpleasant (I feel tired; I feel bad; I feel happy). Feelings may differ in intensity or kind, but basically there are 2 categories in which all may be classified: Good or Bad. Emotions like Anger, Hot temper, Bitterness, Resentment, Hate, depression, fear, anxiety, love, lust, evil desires, jealousy, envy, greed etc(Bad emotions). Peace, joy, love and rest are Good emotions. Passion is intense emotion, and mood is emotion of long duration. An attitude is a combination of presuppositions, beliefs, convictions, and opinions that make up one’s habitual stance at any time toward a subject, person or an act.1 The term behaviour is used to describe those activities of a whole person that may be judged by the law of God, and is responsible conduct.
They are like smoke detectors. They are not the primary problem but warnings of a primary problem. Check on the underlying problem that disturbs the emotions. Through the power of the Holy Spirit Christians have the ability to control the emotions and do what God wants them to do regardless of how they feel 1Cori: 10:13. Consider the first murder in Gen: 4:1-8; most likely it would not have happened if Cain was not that angry. That is why it is important to listen to counselees about how they feel and be sensitive to the effects of their emotions in their lives.
You see, emotions are in fact internal signals that are there to let you know there is a situation which may need attention in your life. A person who possesses emotional intelligence (i.e. is emotionally mature) will heed this signal and then self soothe and regain their composure without needing anyone else to help them and then later figure out what this emotion is signaling, and what might need to be done.
If action is needed, it should not be decided on in the heat of the moment. To best understand this, imagine that you in fact have two brains and the one that gets switched on when you are emotional (your amygdala) doesn't make the same quality of decisions that your other brain (your upper cortex) does. Now also understand that it's very hard to access information from both of these brains at once.
So anger does not mean that you will need to hit or yell at someone (to stop being taken advantage of), as your emotional brain may be telling you, instead it could mean that a real boundary needs to be set. Our emotions are not things we should need other people help dealing with on any regular basis or we will become a very difficult and demanding person to live with.
If you are in a painful relationship learning to take back control of your own happiness by learning the correct use of your emotions - may be the best skills you ever learn.
- Do you gossip about others behind their backs?
(I guess we have been doing that here and I hope that we have stayed honest and respectful (-:).
- Do you blame the problems in your life on others without looking at your own shortcomings?
- Do you fantasize about a life in which you will be loved and admired
(at the expense of your family around you)?
- Do you behave badly when you don't get your way?
Narcissism is easy to spot in others but so much harder to see in ourselves, but as we all want to be loved (deep down), let's not shy away from this challenge ...
Here are three ideas to help topple your false pride;
a. Admit something you are embarrassed about to someone close to you (and that you are embarrassed about it) and apologize if you need to.
b. If you have addictions, be honest with yourself and start to tackle them.
c. Vow to work on the small gaps in your character and admit to yourself that you must learn to crawl and walk before you keep trying to fly...
"My partner had been verbally abusing me for 3 years and my confidence hit an all time low. He criticized everything I did, the way I looked, my beliefs....nothing escaped. But once I understood ... it all changed and I changed. Bible has become my source of everything, and I found my confidence in Christ and Christ alone and He became my dear friend and the rock on which I stand. Even though the situations are bad God kept me focused on Him and His love all the time, and He became my absolute confidence. I am fully assured that nothing happens to me would go past Him without His knowledge and that gave me strength for every day’s life. God taught me how to love when it is not reciprocated, and I realized the situation slowy begin to change for the better. Now I look after him (my partner) and he looks after me, and slowly but surely I am learning to trust my partner again." – Report of a friend
Fight Busting
1. Do not bring up divorce or separation in the heat of an argument - This is NOT a decision to be made when you are upset ...
“Talking about divorce or separation during a fight will undoubtedly make the conflict worse.“
If your partner declares that they hate you and want to separate or other hurtful things during a fight, please remember they are mad and probably don’t mean what they are saying.
“We all say things that we don’t mean when we are angry.”
Don’t say: “I am leaving you” ....
Do say: “I am leaving the room to go calm down. I need some time to cool off”.
2. Don’t make ultimatums or threats > they will only come back to haunt you - If you try to force someone to do what you want by threatening them, it will always be at the expense of your relationship...
“Threats rarely work anyway; people do things more readily out of love than fear.”
Threats only breed resentment. If your partner’s behaviour is unacceptable you need to learn skills to set better boundaries for yourself and limit their unacceptable behaviour.
“Threats will only escalate the fighting.”
Don’t say: “Stop saying that or I will _______.”
Do say: “I don’t like the way you are talking to me and I am not prepared to discuss this now; I need time to cool off.”
3. Stop thinking you need your partner to do what you want them to right now - They can’t help you now because they are tied up dealing with their own negative emotions.
“Be wise and give both yourself and your partner some time and space to regain their composure.”
4.Take care of your own hurt - If you need to get away from your partner to feel safe and get some space to calm down do so but
“Say clearly where you are going, when you will be back and that you simply need some time to cool off because you are too upset to talk anymore. Then take care of yourself.”
If you can get time alone without being disturbed, stay where you are but don’t be waiting for your partner to come and see you to ‘make up’ or make you feel better. They need time to calm down too.
“If they walk out on you, forget about them for now and take care of yourself.”
If you have kids reassure them that you are OK and that things are going to be all right. No matter how hurt you feel inside, be brave and strong for your kids; they love strength in a parent and will look up to you for it.
If you can, ask a neighbour to watch the kids and then do something to feel better. This might include listening to calming music that you like, taking a walk somewhere nice, having a bath or shower or listening to the rain (or a recording of rain sounds). If there is no one to watch the kids, take them out for a walk or to the park and engage with them and be kind.
“Learning to soothe yourself and find your own natural true state of inner happiness, regardless of how your partner is feeling or behaving is one of the most important skills you can learn. It will empower you, make you more attractive and improve your relationship.”
5.Do not drink alcohol, use drugs or talk about the fight > these actions will only fuel your bad feelings - Likewise DO NOT work yourself up further by swinging your arms around, using a punching bag or chopping wood etc. It was once believed that this helped let off steam but it has been shown in many research studies that doing something calming is much better.
“You will change how you feel by changing your focus. Focus on something calm and beautiful and your feelings will eventually follow in that direction.”
Feelings change depending on what you focus on. Start by sitting or lying down or going for a walk. Give it a bit of time and the bad feelings will pass.
6. Decide NOT to think about the problem while you are upset - It takes nearly two days to calm down completely once you have really lost your cool.
“Make a note on a piece of paper of what first upset you but then make a firm decision to leave it till you are completely calm before you think about it again or decide what you will do about it.”
The voice in our head when we are angry tells us to do things that we will usually regret later.
“Smart and successful people do not listen to this voice in the heat of the moment and do not take too personally what others say to us when they are angry or upset.” Ecc: 7:20-23
7. No matter how much you feel like hurting your partner by saying or doing mean things, try to be honest about your own hurt instead - Say “I feel very hurt about what you are saying and I need some time to calm down. I hope that we can get past this”. You can also reassure your partner that you will stand by them and that even though you are angry you will not leave them (if you can do this honestly).
“Having the courage to admit your hurt and vulnerability and also your love for them is much more courageous and powerful than trying to control your partner with aggression or intimidation.”
Don’t say: “I have always hated you, you are a fat slob.”
Do say: “I feel very hurt by what you are saying and I am very angry at you, but I do love you too so right now I need some time to calm down before I say anything that I really don’t mean.”
8. if your partner is not answering you, understand it may be because they are overwhelmed -
This generally happens to men faster than women.
“When faced with criticism or conflict it is very human to reach a point where we just freeze up. Understand this and don’t make the mistake of thinking that your partner is ignoring you or trying to hurt you further.”
Silence in a fight equals emotional overwhelm and you need to give your partner time to recover their emotional balance before they can talk to you again.
Don’t say: “Stop ignoring me!”
Do say: “I need some time to cool off and you probably do too - I am going to take some time out. I am not attacking you, we can talk about this later”.
9.Don’t ignore what the fight was about - Refer to the note you made (about what triggered the fight) a few days later once you are calm and then decide what action needs to be taken.
“Anger is a clear sign that a boundary of yours has been crossed and you need to work on how you are going to defend it. Complaining to your partner probably won’t help.”
Note: a boundary is just like it sounds, it is the line of what behaviour you find comfortable accepting from others. If someone is rude to you for instance this line has been ‘trespassed’. Working on your boundaries later is just as important as you calming yourself down in the heat of the moment.
10. Don’t bring up the conversation again until you have decided how you are going to defend this boundary so it is not crossed again - You should leave this at least two or three days.
“Complaining to your partner is not setting a boundary.”
You need to let them know what the consequences will be which should be fair and just and not include you being angry, punishments or threats.
Don’t say: “If you insult me again I will leave you.”
Do say: “I love you but I want you to stop insulting me. If you can’t stop I will need to seek outside help to protect myself from your insults. If you don’t stop I may need to get our doctor/minister/the police/your boss to talk to you about how they might help you move past this.”
Please do not involve your partner’s family or friends in this!
11. When you see your partner again be ready to offer an olive branch - When you first see your partner again, soon after the fight, say that you need a few days to think about what you were fighting about and that you don’t want to talk about it right now.
“Try and be light and remember that admitting that you are sorry or embarrassed might be hard but is actually very attractive.”
You will have a chance to work on the boundary that was crossed and what you can do to defend it better later, but for now just remember what you value about your relationship and what you have in common.
“It is easy for fights to flare again in the two days after an upset, so give it time for you to both completely calm down before you tackle the issue again.”
Don’t think that talking through the issue must happen for things to get better. Take care of your own negative feelings (self soothe) and set your own boundaries.
12. Don’t make excuses that the conflict must be resolved immediately - The more pressing the matter, the more important it is that you take the time to calm down.
“If your partner is uncooperative and you need their help, then change your plans and organize things differently without needing them.”
Practicing this will help you become more flexible and you will slowly get better at it. You will probably never change your initial reaction to anger or upset, but you can change how you respond to this reaction. Just like exercising a muscle, you will get better at this with practice.
When you feel your emotions flare think:
“Now I have a great chance to exercise self control”.
This is not about bottling up your emotions. It is healthy and a good sign that you get angry when you are treated rudely, but it is also healthy (and very important for your own success in life) that you are able to decide to let the anger go and wait till you are completely calm again to deal with the problem. If it is appropriate say that you are angry but learn to regulate and control your response and to take note of what angered you and make sure you take the time to deal with it later once you are calm again.
“Anger is a clear sign that something is amiss in our life, but you will not gain anything by acting out your anger in the heat of the moment.” Practice these skills and you will see every aspect of your life improve...
Through the power of the Holy Spirit, we Christians have the ability to control our emotions and do what God wants us to do regardless of how we feel; 1 Cori: 10:13. On the other hand, emotions are powerful enough to make it much harder to do what is right. Muscular, galvanic, Visceral and other emotional responses of the body are responses to judgements made about the environment and oneself. These judgements trigger body chemistry to orient the body in a particular direction to meet a specific situation. This body orientation accounts for the feeling. The basic way to break the vicious cycle of strong negative emotions is to help the counselee understand the Biblical criteria for assurance and help them make the judgements on the basis of these.
Examples: Anger is not in itself sinful: Ps: 7:11 (God is angry with the wicked); 1 Kin: 11:9 (God was angry with Solomon); 2 King: 17:18 (God was angry with Israel); Mar: 3:5 (Jesus was angry with the Pharisees). Anger is a strong emotion and in Gen: 4:1-8; 4:4; 8; we see Cain had become very angry that leads to Murder his brother Abel. His anger was the result of sinful pride and could have been eliminated through repentance; without this repentance his anger provided the impetus for the most heinous of crimes.
Eve’s sin began with lusting which is a strong emotion as in Gen:3:6 “When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it”; is the temptation and fall of man.
The Escape to Egypt: Matt: 2:13-18; Herod was jealous when he heard Jesus was born. Herod King of the Jews killed all the boys less than 2 years of age in an obsessive attempt to kill Jesus, the new born King. He stained his hands with blood but could not harm Jesus God’s Son. Herod was King by human appointment and Jesus was King by Divine appointment.
Scriptures to overcome ungodly emotions: Be slow to become angry; Prov: 14:16-17; 29; Jam: 1:19-20. Love covers a multitude of sins and over look many offenses; Pro: 10:12; 12:16; 17:9; 19:11; 1 Pet: 4:8. Seek the way of love; 1 Cor: 13:4-5. Hot words stir up strife; Prov: 15:1. A hot-tempered man creates dissension; Prov: 15:18. Do not associate wit the hot tempered man; Pro: 22:24-25. Control yourself; Prov: 25:28; 29:22; 30:33. Fits of rage belong to your sinful nature, the way of sin; Gal: 5:19-21. Through the Spirit you can overcome the sin of a hot temper; Gal: 5:22-25; Col: 3:8. Handle anger in a godly way and do not let the sun go down on your anger; Eph: 4:26. Jesus said that one who is angry with his brother without a cause will be subject to judgement; Matt: 5:21-22. Say no to ungodly passions; Tit: 2:11-12. Christ came to save us from lust and evil desires; Eph: 2:4-5. Not to conform to evil desires; 1 Pet: 1:14-16; 1 Pet: 2:11. Live by the Spirit to overcome the lusts of the flesh; Gal 5:16.
Emotions are feelings that come over you, irrespective of circumstances or in response to a particular circumstance. Scriptures which help us during difficult times are Psa: 31 (my times are in Your hands) and Ecc 7 (In good times be happy and in adversity consider). Heart is the seat of all emotions; has memory of all our past and what is happening now and has fixed thoughts, patterns of thoughts and beliefs. Scripture tells us to guard our hearts by all means because out of it overflows the issues of life. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.
Notes:
1. Typical attitude toward a problem may be discovered in the following responses: I don’t know what to do” …. “There is no problem”…..” I don’t care”
References:
1. John F. MacArthur, JR. Wayne A. Mack & The Master’s College Faculty, ‘Introduction To Biblical Counseling’, “A Basic Guide To The Principles And Practice Of Counseling” (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1994; p. 12-17)
2. Jay E. Adams, ‘A theology of Christian Counseling; More than Redemption: How sin affects Thinking’ (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1979, p.102-104; 114-115; 202; 218; 260)
3. John G. Kuris, ‘Quick Scripture Reference for Counselling’; (Grand Rapid: Baker Books, Third edition: 1988, 1994, 2000, p.70, 174)
4. Jay E. Adams, ‘How to Help People Change’ The Four-step Biblical Process, (Grand rapids: Zondervan, 1986, p.47-48)
5. David G. Benner & Peter C. Hill, ‘Baker Encyclopaedia of Psychology & Counseling’ Second Edition, (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1985, 1999, p.392-397)
6. Jay E. Adams, ‘The Christian Counselor’s Manual, ‘The Practice of Nouthetic Counseling’ (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1973, P.109-116; 349; 420))
7. Jay E. Adams, ‘Competent to Counsel, ‘Introduction To Nouthetic Counseling’ (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1970, p.220-248)
8. David Powlison, “Seeing with New Eyes” Counseling and Human Condition Through the Lens of Scripture, (New Jersey P& R Publishing Company, 2003, p. 211-223)
9. Fightbusters; http://www.fightbusters.com/Fight_Busting.html 12 steps to end a domestic fight or argument
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Babylon’s useless ‘idols’
Babylon’s useless ‘idols’
Isaiah 46 exposes the folly of those who makes idols and pray to them. This chapter is a call for people to focus their attention in one and true Triune God, through Jesus Christ and His Spirit. False gods will certainly fail their worshippers, and the true God will never fail their worshippers. “Hearken unto Me, O house of Jacob, and all the remnant of the hose of Israel, which are borne by Me from the belly, which are carried from the womb.” Isa 46: 3. Our spiritual life is constantly sustained by His grace as our natural life is constantly sustained by His wonderful providence.
He who made all should be Lord of all, since all things derived from Him and all should be devoted to Him. “Remember the former things of old, for I am God, and there is none else; I am God, and there is none like Me;” Isa 46: 9. Bel a deified prince and Nebo a deified prophet were the two celebrated idols of Babylon that were set up on high and worshipped at ancient times; Isa 46:1. The pagan deities delivered their oracles out of dens and caverns, with a low and hollow voice, and in ambiguous expressions. But God delivered His law from the top of Mount Sinai, distinct, audible, and intelligible.
For those who oppose the counsels of God, the righteousness will be accomplished very shortly. The Word of God says that the proud and obstinate Babylonians are far from justice and righteousness and they never let the oppressed go free inspite of the petitions for God’s predictions. Daniel’s friends, humbled Jews have been in the furnace but not melted and God revealed their righteousness for His glory. Isa 46:12 says they are stout hearted and are far from righteousness. God’s counsel always stands because the Word of God says that all the prophecies will be fulfilled. Many Scripture prophecies were delivered long ago and not yet accomplished. Some are accomplished and in the mean time the rest will be fulfilled.
All true Christians who depend upon Christ for strength and righteousness, in Him shall be justified and shall glory in this. Isa 46:13 says, salvation will be brought for God’s people and if men do not bring justice and righteousness to God’s people, God will surely bring and place salvation in Zion. God will make Jerusalem a place of safety and defence for all those who plant themselves there. When God’s people look to Him in faith and pray without ceasing, they will be saved and this will be the comfort and encouragement of God’s faithful worshippers.
Let us focus our attention on things that could replace God in our lives. Thing that replace God in our hearts are the ‘idols of our heart.’ Here I am relating the idols of Babylon to the idols of our heart. Below are the supporting Scriptures for actions of a Godly life. The question here is how much of our heart do we give to the Lord and check for any Bel and Nebo we may worship instead of Jesus Christ. Are we stout hearted and are far from righteousness?
*Idols of our Heart and Action Plan
Thinking Eph: 4
Inner man Matt: 15:19 Scriptures:
Eph: 4:22-24; 2 Pet: 3:18; The decisions you make
Matt: 11:28-29; Prov: 13:15; become the act of worship.
Gal: 6:7-9; Matt: 18: 28-29;
Luk: 9:23; Col: 1:16;
Matt: 6:33; 15:19; 3:17
Rom: 8:28-29; 1 Cori: 10:13;
2 Cori: 5:9; Gen: 2
To please God and to glorify Him.
To break away from ungodly desires.
People should be able to see the difference between Christians and non-Christians because of the way Christians live. Paul says in Eph 4:17-25; that the world is alienated from God because of the blindness of their heart. This passage is a call for Christian purity and holiness in life. In their wilful disobedience they were estranged and alienated from God and their understanding is darkened; Eph 4:18. Paul tells the Ephesians to leave behind the old life of sin now that they are followers of Christ. The Christian life is a process and although we have a new nature, we do not automatically have good thoughts and attitudes when we believe in Christ Jesus. If we keep Christ as our focus and if our desire is to please God in all that we do, the power of Christ will enable to change into His likeness all the time. If we take a time scale in our journey with Christ do we see our attitudes and actions changing? Often change may be slow but surely it will come.
Apostle Paul in Eph: 4: 22 expresses himself in metaphors taken from garments. The principles, habits, and dispositions of the soul must be changed before there can be a saving change of life. There must be sanctification, which consists of: a) the old man must be put off. The corrupt nature is called ‘man’ because, like the human body it consists of various parts, mutually supporting and strengthening one another. When there is sin in the soul it corrupts all parts of the body. When sin is not put to death, it grows steadily and leads to destruction. b) It is important to put on the ‘new man’. It is important to throw off the old pattern, the sinful ways, and embrace the new pattern and write them in our hearts.
Lying to each other disrupts unity by creating conflicts and destroying trust. Truth is a debt we owe one another, and if we truly love one another we will not deceive one another; Eph: 4:25, Rom: 6:6; 8:9; Gal: 5:16-26; Col: 3:3-8. In Eph 4:23, Paul asked the Ephesians to be renewed in the spirit of your mind. The Spirit becomes essential to spiritual life, as air and water are necessary for physical life. This opens pathway for God to express divine character through people and to change lives of people as they exist in the unique environment of God’s presence. The experience of indwelling of the Holy Spirit is prominent in the New Testament; Jn 14:16, 17; Acts 2:4, 38; 11: 15-17; Rom 8:9.
The false security and self-esteem we attach ourselves with apart from God, will certainly fail our true worship to our Triune God because they are tottering things. God is challenging us to frame and form an image that should be thought a resemblance of Him, Isa 46:5.
Our Purpose in Life: Glorify God, please God and serve others. “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter; Fear God, and keep His commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgement, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil;” Ecc 12:13-14.
References:
1. Jay E. Adams The Christian Counselor’s Manual, ‘The Practice of Nouthetic Counseling’ (Grand Rapids, MI:: Zondervan, 1973)
2. Dr. Ed Murphy, ‘The Hand book for Spiritual Warfare’, ‘Revised and Updated Edition’ – (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers: 1992, 1996)
3. Gary L. Almy, M.D., ‘How Christian is Christian Counseling?’ The Dangerous Secular Influences That Keep Us From Caring For Souls, (Illinois: Crossway Books, Good News Publishers, 2000)
4 .Introduction To Biblical Counseling, “A Basic Guide To The Principles And Practice Of Counseling”- John F. MacArthur, JR. Wayne A. Mack & The Master’s College Faculty (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishing Group, 1994)
5. Fearfully and Wonderfully made; ‘A Surgeon Looks at the Human & Spiritual Body’, Dr. Paul Brand & Philip Yancey
6. Jay E. Adams, ‘A Theology of Christian Counseling’ “More than Redemption” (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1979)
7. Dr. Larry Crabb, Effective Biblical Counseling; ‘A Model for Helping Caring Christians Become Capable Counselors’ (Great Britain: Harper Collins Publishers, 1977)
8. Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling; Third edition- John G. Kruis (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1988, 1994, 2000)
9. The Mathew Henry Study Bible, ‘The best of Mathew Henry’s notes in a handy one volume’ Reference Bible, King James Version, (Iowa Falls: World Publishers, 1994, 1997)
Isaiah 46 exposes the folly of those who makes idols and pray to them. This chapter is a call for people to focus their attention in one and true Triune God, through Jesus Christ and His Spirit. False gods will certainly fail their worshippers, and the true God will never fail their worshippers. “Hearken unto Me, O house of Jacob, and all the remnant of the hose of Israel, which are borne by Me from the belly, which are carried from the womb.” Isa 46: 3. Our spiritual life is constantly sustained by His grace as our natural life is constantly sustained by His wonderful providence.
He who made all should be Lord of all, since all things derived from Him and all should be devoted to Him. “Remember the former things of old, for I am God, and there is none else; I am God, and there is none like Me;” Isa 46: 9. Bel a deified prince and Nebo a deified prophet were the two celebrated idols of Babylon that were set up on high and worshipped at ancient times; Isa 46:1. The pagan deities delivered their oracles out of dens and caverns, with a low and hollow voice, and in ambiguous expressions. But God delivered His law from the top of Mount Sinai, distinct, audible, and intelligible.
For those who oppose the counsels of God, the righteousness will be accomplished very shortly. The Word of God says that the proud and obstinate Babylonians are far from justice and righteousness and they never let the oppressed go free inspite of the petitions for God’s predictions. Daniel’s friends, humbled Jews have been in the furnace but not melted and God revealed their righteousness for His glory. Isa 46:12 says they are stout hearted and are far from righteousness. God’s counsel always stands because the Word of God says that all the prophecies will be fulfilled. Many Scripture prophecies were delivered long ago and not yet accomplished. Some are accomplished and in the mean time the rest will be fulfilled.
All true Christians who depend upon Christ for strength and righteousness, in Him shall be justified and shall glory in this. Isa 46:13 says, salvation will be brought for God’s people and if men do not bring justice and righteousness to God’s people, God will surely bring and place salvation in Zion. God will make Jerusalem a place of safety and defence for all those who plant themselves there. When God’s people look to Him in faith and pray without ceasing, they will be saved and this will be the comfort and encouragement of God’s faithful worshippers.
Let us focus our attention on things that could replace God in our lives. Thing that replace God in our hearts are the ‘idols of our heart.’ Here I am relating the idols of Babylon to the idols of our heart. Below are the supporting Scriptures for actions of a Godly life. The question here is how much of our heart do we give to the Lord and check for any Bel and Nebo we may worship instead of Jesus Christ. Are we stout hearted and are far from righteousness?
*Idols of our Heart and Action Plan
Thinking Eph: 4
Inner man Matt: 15:19 Scriptures:
Eph: 4:22-24; 2 Pet: 3:18; The decisions you make
Matt: 11:28-29; Prov: 13:15; become the act of worship.
Gal: 6:7-9; Matt: 18: 28-29;
Luk: 9:23; Col: 1:16;
Matt: 6:33; 15:19; 3:17
Rom: 8:28-29; 1 Cori: 10:13;
2 Cori: 5:9; Gen: 2
To please God and to glorify Him.
To break away from ungodly desires.
People should be able to see the difference between Christians and non-Christians because of the way Christians live. Paul says in Eph 4:17-25; that the world is alienated from God because of the blindness of their heart. This passage is a call for Christian purity and holiness in life. In their wilful disobedience they were estranged and alienated from God and their understanding is darkened; Eph 4:18. Paul tells the Ephesians to leave behind the old life of sin now that they are followers of Christ. The Christian life is a process and although we have a new nature, we do not automatically have good thoughts and attitudes when we believe in Christ Jesus. If we keep Christ as our focus and if our desire is to please God in all that we do, the power of Christ will enable to change into His likeness all the time. If we take a time scale in our journey with Christ do we see our attitudes and actions changing? Often change may be slow but surely it will come.
Apostle Paul in Eph: 4: 22 expresses himself in metaphors taken from garments. The principles, habits, and dispositions of the soul must be changed before there can be a saving change of life. There must be sanctification, which consists of: a) the old man must be put off. The corrupt nature is called ‘man’ because, like the human body it consists of various parts, mutually supporting and strengthening one another. When there is sin in the soul it corrupts all parts of the body. When sin is not put to death, it grows steadily and leads to destruction. b) It is important to put on the ‘new man’. It is important to throw off the old pattern, the sinful ways, and embrace the new pattern and write them in our hearts.
Lying to each other disrupts unity by creating conflicts and destroying trust. Truth is a debt we owe one another, and if we truly love one another we will not deceive one another; Eph: 4:25, Rom: 6:6; 8:9; Gal: 5:16-26; Col: 3:3-8. In Eph 4:23, Paul asked the Ephesians to be renewed in the spirit of your mind. The Spirit becomes essential to spiritual life, as air and water are necessary for physical life. This opens pathway for God to express divine character through people and to change lives of people as they exist in the unique environment of God’s presence. The experience of indwelling of the Holy Spirit is prominent in the New Testament; Jn 14:16, 17; Acts 2:4, 38; 11: 15-17; Rom 8:9.
The false security and self-esteem we attach ourselves with apart from God, will certainly fail our true worship to our Triune God because they are tottering things. God is challenging us to frame and form an image that should be thought a resemblance of Him, Isa 46:5.
Our Purpose in Life: Glorify God, please God and serve others. “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter; Fear God, and keep His commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgement, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil;” Ecc 12:13-14.
References:
1. Jay E. Adams The Christian Counselor’s Manual, ‘The Practice of Nouthetic Counseling’ (Grand Rapids, MI:: Zondervan, 1973)
2. Dr. Ed Murphy, ‘The Hand book for Spiritual Warfare’, ‘Revised and Updated Edition’ – (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers: 1992, 1996)
3. Gary L. Almy, M.D., ‘How Christian is Christian Counseling?’ The Dangerous Secular Influences That Keep Us From Caring For Souls, (Illinois: Crossway Books, Good News Publishers, 2000)
4 .Introduction To Biblical Counseling, “A Basic Guide To The Principles And Practice Of Counseling”- John F. MacArthur, JR. Wayne A. Mack & The Master’s College Faculty (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishing Group, 1994)
5. Fearfully and Wonderfully made; ‘A Surgeon Looks at the Human & Spiritual Body’, Dr. Paul Brand & Philip Yancey
6. Jay E. Adams, ‘A Theology of Christian Counseling’ “More than Redemption” (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1979)
7. Dr. Larry Crabb, Effective Biblical Counseling; ‘A Model for Helping Caring Christians Become Capable Counselors’ (Great Britain: Harper Collins Publishers, 1977)
8. Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling; Third edition- John G. Kruis (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1988, 1994, 2000)
9. The Mathew Henry Study Bible, ‘The best of Mathew Henry’s notes in a handy one volume’ Reference Bible, King James Version, (Iowa Falls: World Publishers, 1994, 1997)
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Working with Medical Professionals /Vs / Psychologists as a Biblical Counselor
Working with Medical Professionals /Vs / Psychologists as a Biblical Counselor
Working with a Physician: I will follow the following procedure if I suspect medical issues with the counselee and weed out my suspicion before counselling Scriptures.
History ----*** Physical examination ---- Medical Tests ---- Treatment if necessary
*** At this point the decision has to be made whether the patient had to go to a Medical Professional or a Biblical Counselor. I will gladly work with a Physician and explore all the possibilities to help the counselee. We need to know our abilities and limits well enough to know whether we should refer our counselee to a professional. While taking the case History look for the following: Chronic behaviour pattern, strong aggressiveness noted in attitudes, speech, thought, and actions, false guilt building up, lacking the ability to think about the consequences of their actions, threatening suicide, any dependence on drugs or alcohol, the person does not seem to be trying to get better, the counsellor getting the sense that they are manipulated, and the physical symptoms are tense and of long duration; Refer this counselee to a Medical Professional for a full Medical check up. This will not harm the counselee, but helps to weed out problems and sets Biblical counseling at the right road at an earlier stage.
Brandt (1988, p. 189) states that certain dysfunctions of the endocrine system can be chief sources of depression. Specific failures of the thyroid gland (hypothyroidism), the adrenal glands (affecting sodium and electrolyte balance), and pancreas (hypoglycemia) have all been related to the onset of depression. Lack of nutrition can also be an overlooked cause of depressive symptoms, and laboratory tests can identify any vitamin deficiencies. Emotional distress interferes with the proper absorption of vitamins, minerals and amino acids, which in turn can alter the availability of neurotransmitters. A thorough medical examination is recommended before any drug administration and Biblical counselling.
A word of caution to Biblical counsellors: Depression and mood disorders can be divided into: major depression, bipolar disorder, dysthymic disorder, and also cyclothymic disorder as the primary disorders of mood. Major depression, also called unipolar depression, is identified by sad, empty, or hopeless feelings; slowed physical and cognitive behaviour, including cognitive disorientation; change in weight, appetite and sleeping patterns; diminished interest or pleasure in activities and time spend with friends; and occasional to frequent thoughts of death and suicide. The presence of several of these symptoms for a period of exceeding two or more weeks is a symptom and sufficient criteria for a major depressive episode. Referrals for Medical professional help can be an important part of a Biblical counsellor. If the depression has its roots in helplessness and hopelessness, the Biblical counsellor can surely be a messenger of hope.
With knowledge gained from the world of Science and Medicine, Dr. Paul Brand probes deeply into the world of cells, bones, skin, muscles and nerves to show how the human body so authentically expresses spiritual reality and reveals the perfect aptness of Paul’s metaphor, the body of Christ. “The Body of Christ, like our own bodies, is composed of individual, unlike cells that are knit together to form one Body. He is the whole thing, and the joy of the Body increases as individual cell realize they are not to be isolated outposts.”1 - Fearfully and Wonderfully made; ‘A Surgeon Looks at the Human & Spiritual Body’; Dr. Paul Brand & Philip Yancey.
I will work enthusiastically with Christian Physicians and frequently will send the counselees for medical check ups and at the same time working with the psychologist, I have to think on the following.
First, psychology is not a true science and it does not deal with objective, measurable data that can be subjected for reliable tests and confirmed by the scientific method. It is a pseudo-science, and most of its cardinal doctrines are mere speculations, not reliable truth.
Second, unlike medicine and physics, psychology deals with matters that are fundamentally spiritual. The word psychology means “study of the soul”. Scriptures certainly claim absolute sufficiency in addressing these needs; 2 Tim: 3:16-17; Psa: 19:7; 2 Pet: 1:3.
A psychiatrist’s medical training could help determine if some one has a neurological problem or other associated organic problems which may contribute to a person’s problem in living. A psychologist may be able to help by doing an intelligence test for that particular individual. Very often psychiatrists and psychologists adopt the role of a psychotherapist by entering into the domain of the Spirit and the Word and ministry and counsel people in very unbiblical ways. I worked with a psychologist for 8 months after I finished my Master’s of Divinity in Biblical Counseling, so I can confidently mention this.
Psychotherapy is a money making venture and psychologists apart from doing this, influence the Christian church by selling books, conferences, videos, tapes and radio shows. They have gained the right to interpret human beings and their problems, the right to work with people experiencing problems in living and the right to endeavour to solve people’s problems in a Christian circle.
Popular Christian Psychologists are united in teaching that fundamental problems of people stem from low self - esteem, deep yearning for relationship, search for significance, unmet needs, wounds, trauma etc and destroys hope in Jesus Christ. This is in total contrast to what God’s Word teaches us: i.e. the fundamental problems of mankind stems from sin; i.e. the active desires, the thought pattern, and the intentions of the heart. My concern after working with the Psychologist is, that they confess their first love and commitment is for Lord Jesus Christ but deviate markedly from that professed commitment in their theory and practice. Very often I have realised that their verbal commitment to the Word of God coexists with deviant teachings from the enemies of the Word. This is very scary and the enemy has started the work from within and we can relate this with Jesus Christ talking about wolfs in sheep clothing.
Examples:
If I have a child to assess if he is ready emotionally, physically ready to enter grade one. I will take him to Medical Doctor for Physical questions; To the Principal and other grade one teachers for other questions and talk to other parents who may be a resource. Or I will talk to my mum who had trained and educated many godly children about the problems.
If I need a Career change and I want an objective evaluation of my strengths and weaknesses I will go to a Pastoral Counselor who could think through the motives for considering change as well as help me with other aspects of decision –making process. I will go to a possible career counsellor who could provide interest and aptitude testing and knowledge of the job market.
In a problem of depression, Pastoral counselling and Spiritual help is of ‘real’ help than Psychology. Heb: 9:14; “The blood of Christ….. that cleanses your conscience from dead works to serve the living God.” We need not have to add a psychological theory to the unfailing testimony of God’s Word.
I will probably never want to work with a psychologist unless the person bearing the title is committed to Biblical counselling and their professional title is incidental. Scripture and popular psychology differ sharply in the area of insight. Therapists guide people away from any conviction of sin and lead them to blame others for their problems. It is an approach that fails to meet the true human need. These Therapists even move within the church more as people possessing secret knowledge and we have to be aware of this. God gives each person a conscience and therapists view the conscience as producing guilt and shame and so they say, should avoid. Scriptures on the contrary speaks of conscience as a reflection of God’s image in us, and should be used for God’s glory and for our good. God through His ‘common grace’ weaves His ‘oughts’ into each human heart, and even non-believers receive this common grace. His moral standards are woven into the very structures of our society and humans have a conscience to guide them towards decent behaviour and away from being evil. There are many Biblical counsellors who have degrees in psychology, neurology, medicine, nursing, education, and in my case chemistry, and their methods in their specialities they have rejected in favour of Biblical theory and practice.
Psychology can be a “useful adjunct” to Biblical counselling in two ways. 1. “For the purposes of illustrating, filling in generalizations with specifics” 2. “Challenging wrong human interpretations of Scriptures, thereby forcing the student to restudy the Scriptures.”2- Jay E. Adams
Notes and References:
1. Fearfully and Wonderfully made; ‘A Surgeon Looks at the Human & Spiritual Body’, Dr. Paul Brand & Philip Yancey.
2. Jay E. Adams, ‘A theology of Christian Counseling; More than Redemption: How sin affects Thinking’ (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1979, p. 34-37)
3. John F. MacArthur, JR. Wayne A. Mack & The Master’s College Faculty, ‘Introduction To Biblical Counseling, “A Basic Guide To The Principles And Practice Of Counseling” (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1994, p.341; 368-369; 371-372; 374-375; 382-385 ;)
2. Jay E. Adams, ‘A theology of Christian Counseling; More than Redemption: How sin affects Thinking’ (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1979, p. 34-37)
4. Lucibel VanAtta, ‘Women Encouraging Women’ (Portland: Multnomah Press, 1987, p.129-130)
5. Gary L. Almy, M.D., ‘How Christian is Christian counseling?’ The Dangerous Secular Influences That Keep Us From Caring For Souls, (Illinois: Crossway Books, Good News Publishers, 2000, p.43-51)
6. Jay E. Adams, ‘How to Help People Change’ The Four-step Biblical Process, (Grand rapids: Zondervan, 1986, p. 10-15)
7. David G. Benner & Peter C. Hill, ‘Baker Encyclopaedia of Psychology & Counseling’ Second Edition, (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1985, 1999, p. 338-340)
8. Jay E. Adams, ‘The Christian Counselor’s Manual, ‘The Practice of Nouthetic Counseling’ (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1973, P.71-98; 375-388)
9. Jay E. Adams, ‘Competent to Counsel, ‘Introduction To Nouthetic Counseling’ (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1970, p.78-100; 139)
Working with a Physician: I will follow the following procedure if I suspect medical issues with the counselee and weed out my suspicion before counselling Scriptures.
History ----*** Physical examination ---- Medical Tests ---- Treatment if necessary
*** At this point the decision has to be made whether the patient had to go to a Medical Professional or a Biblical Counselor. I will gladly work with a Physician and explore all the possibilities to help the counselee. We need to know our abilities and limits well enough to know whether we should refer our counselee to a professional. While taking the case History look for the following: Chronic behaviour pattern, strong aggressiveness noted in attitudes, speech, thought, and actions, false guilt building up, lacking the ability to think about the consequences of their actions, threatening suicide, any dependence on drugs or alcohol, the person does not seem to be trying to get better, the counsellor getting the sense that they are manipulated, and the physical symptoms are tense and of long duration; Refer this counselee to a Medical Professional for a full Medical check up. This will not harm the counselee, but helps to weed out problems and sets Biblical counseling at the right road at an earlier stage.
Brandt (1988, p. 189) states that certain dysfunctions of the endocrine system can be chief sources of depression. Specific failures of the thyroid gland (hypothyroidism), the adrenal glands (affecting sodium and electrolyte balance), and pancreas (hypoglycemia) have all been related to the onset of depression. Lack of nutrition can also be an overlooked cause of depressive symptoms, and laboratory tests can identify any vitamin deficiencies. Emotional distress interferes with the proper absorption of vitamins, minerals and amino acids, which in turn can alter the availability of neurotransmitters. A thorough medical examination is recommended before any drug administration and Biblical counselling.
A word of caution to Biblical counsellors: Depression and mood disorders can be divided into: major depression, bipolar disorder, dysthymic disorder, and also cyclothymic disorder as the primary disorders of mood. Major depression, also called unipolar depression, is identified by sad, empty, or hopeless feelings; slowed physical and cognitive behaviour, including cognitive disorientation; change in weight, appetite and sleeping patterns; diminished interest or pleasure in activities and time spend with friends; and occasional to frequent thoughts of death and suicide. The presence of several of these symptoms for a period of exceeding two or more weeks is a symptom and sufficient criteria for a major depressive episode. Referrals for Medical professional help can be an important part of a Biblical counsellor. If the depression has its roots in helplessness and hopelessness, the Biblical counsellor can surely be a messenger of hope.
With knowledge gained from the world of Science and Medicine, Dr. Paul Brand probes deeply into the world of cells, bones, skin, muscles and nerves to show how the human body so authentically expresses spiritual reality and reveals the perfect aptness of Paul’s metaphor, the body of Christ. “The Body of Christ, like our own bodies, is composed of individual, unlike cells that are knit together to form one Body. He is the whole thing, and the joy of the Body increases as individual cell realize they are not to be isolated outposts.”1 - Fearfully and Wonderfully made; ‘A Surgeon Looks at the Human & Spiritual Body’; Dr. Paul Brand & Philip Yancey.
I will work enthusiastically with Christian Physicians and frequently will send the counselees for medical check ups and at the same time working with the psychologist, I have to think on the following.
First, psychology is not a true science and it does not deal with objective, measurable data that can be subjected for reliable tests and confirmed by the scientific method. It is a pseudo-science, and most of its cardinal doctrines are mere speculations, not reliable truth.
Second, unlike medicine and physics, psychology deals with matters that are fundamentally spiritual. The word psychology means “study of the soul”. Scriptures certainly claim absolute sufficiency in addressing these needs; 2 Tim: 3:16-17; Psa: 19:7; 2 Pet: 1:3.
A psychiatrist’s medical training could help determine if some one has a neurological problem or other associated organic problems which may contribute to a person’s problem in living. A psychologist may be able to help by doing an intelligence test for that particular individual. Very often psychiatrists and psychologists adopt the role of a psychotherapist by entering into the domain of the Spirit and the Word and ministry and counsel people in very unbiblical ways. I worked with a psychologist for 8 months after I finished my Master’s of Divinity in Biblical Counseling, so I can confidently mention this.
Psychotherapy is a money making venture and psychologists apart from doing this, influence the Christian church by selling books, conferences, videos, tapes and radio shows. They have gained the right to interpret human beings and their problems, the right to work with people experiencing problems in living and the right to endeavour to solve people’s problems in a Christian circle.
Popular Christian Psychologists are united in teaching that fundamental problems of people stem from low self - esteem, deep yearning for relationship, search for significance, unmet needs, wounds, trauma etc and destroys hope in Jesus Christ. This is in total contrast to what God’s Word teaches us: i.e. the fundamental problems of mankind stems from sin; i.e. the active desires, the thought pattern, and the intentions of the heart. My concern after working with the Psychologist is, that they confess their first love and commitment is for Lord Jesus Christ but deviate markedly from that professed commitment in their theory and practice. Very often I have realised that their verbal commitment to the Word of God coexists with deviant teachings from the enemies of the Word. This is very scary and the enemy has started the work from within and we can relate this with Jesus Christ talking about wolfs in sheep clothing.
Examples:
If I have a child to assess if he is ready emotionally, physically ready to enter grade one. I will take him to Medical Doctor for Physical questions; To the Principal and other grade one teachers for other questions and talk to other parents who may be a resource. Or I will talk to my mum who had trained and educated many godly children about the problems.
If I need a Career change and I want an objective evaluation of my strengths and weaknesses I will go to a Pastoral Counselor who could think through the motives for considering change as well as help me with other aspects of decision –making process. I will go to a possible career counsellor who could provide interest and aptitude testing and knowledge of the job market.
In a problem of depression, Pastoral counselling and Spiritual help is of ‘real’ help than Psychology. Heb: 9:14; “The blood of Christ….. that cleanses your conscience from dead works to serve the living God.” We need not have to add a psychological theory to the unfailing testimony of God’s Word.
I will probably never want to work with a psychologist unless the person bearing the title is committed to Biblical counselling and their professional title is incidental. Scripture and popular psychology differ sharply in the area of insight. Therapists guide people away from any conviction of sin and lead them to blame others for their problems. It is an approach that fails to meet the true human need. These Therapists even move within the church more as people possessing secret knowledge and we have to be aware of this. God gives each person a conscience and therapists view the conscience as producing guilt and shame and so they say, should avoid. Scriptures on the contrary speaks of conscience as a reflection of God’s image in us, and should be used for God’s glory and for our good. God through His ‘common grace’ weaves His ‘oughts’ into each human heart, and even non-believers receive this common grace. His moral standards are woven into the very structures of our society and humans have a conscience to guide them towards decent behaviour and away from being evil. There are many Biblical counsellors who have degrees in psychology, neurology, medicine, nursing, education, and in my case chemistry, and their methods in their specialities they have rejected in favour of Biblical theory and practice.
Psychology can be a “useful adjunct” to Biblical counselling in two ways. 1. “For the purposes of illustrating, filling in generalizations with specifics” 2. “Challenging wrong human interpretations of Scriptures, thereby forcing the student to restudy the Scriptures.”2- Jay E. Adams
Notes and References:
1. Fearfully and Wonderfully made; ‘A Surgeon Looks at the Human & Spiritual Body’, Dr. Paul Brand & Philip Yancey.
2. Jay E. Adams, ‘A theology of Christian Counseling; More than Redemption: How sin affects Thinking’ (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1979, p. 34-37)
3. John F. MacArthur, JR. Wayne A. Mack & The Master’s College Faculty, ‘Introduction To Biblical Counseling, “A Basic Guide To The Principles And Practice Of Counseling” (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1994, p.341; 368-369; 371-372; 374-375; 382-385 ;)
2. Jay E. Adams, ‘A theology of Christian Counseling; More than Redemption: How sin affects Thinking’ (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1979, p. 34-37)
4. Lucibel VanAtta, ‘Women Encouraging Women’ (Portland: Multnomah Press, 1987, p.129-130)
5. Gary L. Almy, M.D., ‘How Christian is Christian counseling?’ The Dangerous Secular Influences That Keep Us From Caring For Souls, (Illinois: Crossway Books, Good News Publishers, 2000, p.43-51)
6. Jay E. Adams, ‘How to Help People Change’ The Four-step Biblical Process, (Grand rapids: Zondervan, 1986, p. 10-15)
7. David G. Benner & Peter C. Hill, ‘Baker Encyclopaedia of Psychology & Counseling’ Second Edition, (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1985, 1999, p. 338-340)
8. Jay E. Adams, ‘The Christian Counselor’s Manual, ‘The Practice of Nouthetic Counseling’ (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1973, P.71-98; 375-388)
9. Jay E. Adams, ‘Competent to Counsel, ‘Introduction To Nouthetic Counseling’ (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1970, p.78-100; 139)
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Refiner's Fire
Refiner’s Fire
Mal 3:2
“But who may abide the day of his coming? and who shall stand when he appeareth? for he [is] like a refiner's fire, and like fullers' soap”: KJV
Mal 3:3
“And he shall sit [as] a refiner and purifier of silver: and he shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the LORD an offering in righteousness”. KJV
‘Who shall stand’? During the life history of Jesus Christ we see there were some emanations of His glory and power, and no one could stand before Him; a good example is the witness of His transfiguration; Mat 17: 1-13.
‘Purge them’ God will sanctify us inwardly. That is they may be sincere in their conversion to God and are consecrated. A good tree beareth good fruit and God wants us to be like good trees bearing good fruits for His glory and honour.
Are you in the refiner's fire today? If you are don't rebel or try to run away, just sit still and let the refiner do His work. The Bible says: 'He will sit like a refiner of silver, burning away the dross. He will purify [them], refining them like gold and silver, so that they may once again offer acceptable sacrifices to the Lord.' A woman who read this verse at a Bible study wanted to know how it related to her walk with God, so she made an appointment with the silversmith. Without mentioning anything other than a general interest in the process, she sat and observed him work. She watched as he held the silver over the fire, explaining that in order to burn away every impurity he had to keep it in the middle where it was hottest. She asked him if he usually sat in front of the fire the entire time. 'Yes,' he replied, 'not only do I have to hold it, I must watch it. If I leave it there too long it will be destroyed.' After thinking about that for awhile she asked, 'How do you know when the process is complete?' Smiling, he replied, 'That's easy; I see my face reflected in it.'
If you're in the refiner's fire today, remember: a) He knows what He's doing, so trust Him b) He won't allow you to be destroyed by the circumstances, or take His eye off you c) when the process is complete, you'll be more like Jesus and less like your old self. Isn't that what you want? Isn't that what you've prayed for!
Mal 3:2
“But who may abide the day of his coming? and who shall stand when he appeareth? for he [is] like a refiner's fire, and like fullers' soap”: KJV
Mal 3:3
“And he shall sit [as] a refiner and purifier of silver: and he shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the LORD an offering in righteousness”. KJV
‘Who shall stand’? During the life history of Jesus Christ we see there were some emanations of His glory and power, and no one could stand before Him; a good example is the witness of His transfiguration; Mat 17: 1-13.
‘Purge them’ God will sanctify us inwardly. That is they may be sincere in their conversion to God and are consecrated. A good tree beareth good fruit and God wants us to be like good trees bearing good fruits for His glory and honour.
Are you in the refiner's fire today? If you are don't rebel or try to run away, just sit still and let the refiner do His work. The Bible says: 'He will sit like a refiner of silver, burning away the dross. He will purify [them], refining them like gold and silver, so that they may once again offer acceptable sacrifices to the Lord.' A woman who read this verse at a Bible study wanted to know how it related to her walk with God, so she made an appointment with the silversmith. Without mentioning anything other than a general interest in the process, she sat and observed him work. She watched as he held the silver over the fire, explaining that in order to burn away every impurity he had to keep it in the middle where it was hottest. She asked him if he usually sat in front of the fire the entire time. 'Yes,' he replied, 'not only do I have to hold it, I must watch it. If I leave it there too long it will be destroyed.' After thinking about that for awhile she asked, 'How do you know when the process is complete?' Smiling, he replied, 'That's easy; I see my face reflected in it.'
If you're in the refiner's fire today, remember: a) He knows what He's doing, so trust Him b) He won't allow you to be destroyed by the circumstances, or take His eye off you c) when the process is complete, you'll be more like Jesus and less like your old self. Isn't that what you want? Isn't that what you've prayed for!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Personal inside of a believer vs. non-believer
Personal inside of a believer vs. non-believer
anxiety) spring from deficit motivation caused by wrong thinking. Anxiety,
believers getting along should have genuine love for each other.
The Psycho-anatomy of an un-believer
still evaluate the world from a false perspective. He will still behave
and behaves like a un-believer and it is a tragedy.
The Psycho-anatomy of a believer.
News Publishers, 2000, p.43-51)
(Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1970, p.78-100; 139)
Let us look at the ‘personal inside’ of a un-believer. He is very
much out for himself, and he evaluates his life in terms of the world’s
value system. He behaves in a way to meet his own needs only, and
does not care about others. Basically he has believed the devil’s lie
about how to be a person. He is truly a child of the devil and thinks and
valuates an event based on the world, Satan, and programmes
unbiblically.
How one thinks not only determines the range of behaviour form
which we may choose, but it also greatly influences how we feel. When
we analyse the psycho-anatomy of the un-believer above we come to
the following conclusions.
1. Thinking based on wrong world’s value system leads to negative
emotions, which will block compassion.
2. Emotions (depression, crippling guilt, resentment, frustration, or
anxiety) spring from deficit motivation caused by wrong thinking. Anxiety,
resentment, and guilt are the basic problem condition behind all other
personal difficulties.
Let us look briefly at anxiety, resentment, and guilt which are emotions which can rise within a person. If not dealt Biblically these emotions can be crippling and destructive. These emotions can rise within us because of:
Anxiety: is the fear that something we need will not be provided.
Resentment: comes from believing our needs are threatened by
something which God has allowed to happen to us.
Guilt: comes from believing what God provided is not enough and
then going outside of God’s will to secure what He has not provided.
If we believe all that we need is God, and what He chooses us to
provide, we will not experience any of these emotions. If our thinking is
based on Scriptures, we will begin to evaluate events Biblically. We
may feel painful emotions, but a deep care, reality and compassion will
eventually follow.
Only Christians whose needs are met in Christ is capable of
sustained compassion, no matter what the circumstances are.
Distinguishing mark of a Christian should be love, and a community of
believers getting along should have genuine love for each other.
The Psycho-anatomy of an un-believer
1. Notice that the wrong belief he has learned still enter his conscious
mind, but he deliberately values the world from a Biblical frame work.
2. Notice, the arrows between behaviour and compassion points both
ways: the more compassion I feel, the more compassionately I behave.
3. Christians’ perspective is to live for Christ. He behaves as God tells
him to, and evaluates his life from God’s perspective. This person has
a deep sense of his personal worth, and knows experientially the fruit
of the Spirit.
Carnal man:
A Christian living as a carnal man is still living for himself, and will
still evaluate the world from a false perspective. He will still behave
selfishly, disobediently, and without compassion. He thinks, acts, feels
and behaves like a un-believer and it is a tragedy.
The Psycho-anatomy of a believer.
Holy Spirit provides the resources for transformation through the
normal mechanisms of the human personality we were built in. The
Spirit brings to our mind the necessary Scriptures suited for different
circumstances. The individual begins to recognize that no event can
rob him from God’s hand, and his personal worth is complete, significant,
and secured in Christ regardless of circumstances. The individual begins
to evaluate life events Biblically, and the Spirit of God helps the individual
to deepen his appreciation of God’s truth.
His Christian belief begins to seep down his basic assumption system, and slowly replaces ‘wrong beliefs’ he had from early child hood. He is on the process of sanctification, and he becomes mature, his inner man is changing. This individual regards himself as non-threatened and begins to express his worth in worship and service. This transformation depends upon the renewing of the mind with God’s pure inerrant Word, by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Book References:
1. Dr. Larry Crabb, “Effective Biblical Counseling” How Caring Christians can Become
Capable Counselors, (Hammersmith: Marshall Pickering, 1985, p. 100-104).
2. John G. Kruis, Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling, ‘Progressive Sanctification’
(Grand rapids: Baker Books, 1988, 1994, 2000 p. 140-145).
3. Fearfully and Wonderfully made; ‘A Surgeon Looks at the Human & Spiritual Body’,
Dr. Paul Brand & Philip Yancey.
4. Jay E. Adams, ‘A theology of Christian Counseling; More than Redemption: How sin
affects Thinking’ (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1979, p. 34-37)
5. John F. MacArthur, JR. Wayne A. Mack & The Master’s College Faculty, ‘Introduction
To Biblical Counseling, “A Basic Guide To The Principles And Practice Of Counseling”
(Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1994, p.341; 368-369; 371-372; 374-375; 382-
385 ;)
6. Jay E. Adams, ‘A theology of Christian Counseling; More than Redemption: How sin
affects Thinking’ (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1979, p. 34-37)
7. Lucibel VanAtta, ‘Women Encouraging Women’ (Portland: Multnomah Press, 1987,
p.129-130)
8. Gary L. Almy, M.D., ‘How Christian is Christian counseling?’ The Dangerous Secular
Influences That Keep Us From Caring For Souls, (Illinois: Crossway Books, Good
News Publishers, 2000, p.43-51)
9. Jay E. Adams, ‘How to Help People Change’ The Four-step Biblical Process, (Grand
rapids: Zondervan, 1986, p. 10-15)
10. David G. Benner & Peter C. Hill, ‘Baker Encyclopaedia of Psychology & Counseling’
Second Edition, (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1985, 1999, p. 338-340)
11. Jay E. Adams, ‘The Christian Counselor’s Manual, ‘The Practice of Nouthetic
Counseling’ (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1973, P.71-98; 375-388)
12. Jay E. Adams, ‘Competent to Counsel, ‘Introduction To Nouthetic Counseling’
(Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1970, p.78-100; 139)
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