Monday, May 21, 2012

Love….in all the Wrong Places?


Love is the word we hear around the globe and this has a very intoxicating effect on mankind. Love seems to be a common denominator in every relationship and every one no matter from which culture they come from wants to be loved. Unfortunately when some one claims that they love some one else very often they do not, partly because they do not know what love is. Mankind in general searches for this love and this seem to be an ongoing search in the hearts of humanity and very often they search in the wrong places!

[What are the Hebrew words for love and strength?  love = ahava (אהבה) strength = ko'akh (כוח)

love (noun) = ah-hah-VAH (אהבה) to love (verb) = ah-HAHV (אהב)

There is a single word with that meaning: khesed (חסד) It’s pronounced KHEHSS-ehd. the kh is a gutteral sound.

What is the Hebrew word for you love you?  "you love you" doesn't make much sense, but it would be: to a female = at ohevet et atsmekhto a male = atah ohev et atsmekha


 There is only one Hebrew word for love. The noun form is ahava (אהבה) and the verb is ahav (אהב). (You may be thinking of Greek, which has 4 different words for love).]1

[There are several Greek words for love, as the Greek language distinguishes how the word is used.
Agápe (ἀγάπη agápē[1]) means "love" (unconditional love) in modern day Greek, such as in the term s'agapo (Σ'αγαπώ), which means "I love you".
Éros (ἔρως érōs[2]) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Modern Greek word "erotas" means "intimate love;"
Philia (φιλία philía[3]) means friendship or affectionate love in modern Greek.
Storge (στοργή storgē[4]) means "affection" in ancient and modern Greek. It is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring.]2

What is true love and where do we find it? Expecting something from some one in return of something, fear, lust, jealousy, possessiveness, and keeping some one to themselves are not genuine love.  Very often even in parent child relationships and even among spouses in marriages, in the relationships of ‘lovers’ and in a nut-shell most people on this planet earth never experiences ‘that perfect love’ and humanity is in search for it together. True love is unconditional. To love someone unconditionally means that you love the other person in the past, present and in the future and even when they disagree with your opinion. 


My focus of ‘love’ here mainly is on the most primary relationship that is in marriage. Human beings search and long for something from other human beings which only God can provide and we all fail to realize this. This is so much so in marriages that much of the dissatisfaction one experiences in marriage comes from expecting too much from it. We want to get a major percentage of life’s fulfillment from the other spouse and one fails to realize that the other spouse is only human and is limited! Here I am not limiting the joy marriage brings, the sense of fulfillment, sharing with each other their mental, emotional, physical and spiritual make up and life altogether! What I am trying to share here is beyond marriage, the joy and the happiness which God alone can provide in spite of the situation and circumstances. The focus here is on the spiritual growth and the marriage simply becomes the context or the vehicle to promote the growth and exposes lots of truth and weaknesses for spouses to grow in maturity.

We must never be naïve enough to think of marriage as a safe harbor from the Fall…The deepest struggles of life will occur in the most primary relationship affected by the Fall: marriage.”3

In this Fallen world one will never find a spouse who is not affected by the reality of the Fall. Husbands and wives are married to sinful spouses who have limitations to express their love, they may sin against each other, disappoint each other, and may even have limitations physically which could disappoint, frustrate and even sadden the other spouse.  For example a husband may have all the best intentions but may lose his temper when he gets back from work and a wife with all of her desires may not have the energy to perform all that she wanted to accomplish that day. This is life and reality and even in Christian marriages this is the norm and one has to understand marriage and love from God’s perspective and not from the perspective of the world or the contemporary Hollywood model.

Contempt breeds when we focus on our spouse’s weaknesses and not able to think about their achievements. “And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye”. Matt 7:3-5. 
“A magnificent marriage begins not with knowing one another but knowing with God.”4- Gary and Betsy Ricucci

“From whence [come] wars and fightings among you? [come they] not hence, [even] of your lusts that war in your members? Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not”. Jam 4:1-2. This verse ironically points us away from focusing on our spouse and makes us look towards God. Very often marital conflict arises because we want something and we do not get it, and Book of James specifically says that we are not getting it because we are looking at the ‘wrong place’. This reduces the demand we place on our spouse and we begin to look at the right place where it will be provided unconditionally. This will change us to become Christ-like and we approach the spouse with the spirit of humility and servant hood. A word of caution to the above is that there is a wide spectrum of exception to the above norm.

As we try to fathom the unconditional love of God who gave  His only Son Jesus Christ to humanity, we get a glimpse of what Love really is; “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Jn 3:16.

Jesus Christ in His earthly ministry moved with very sinful people and loved them unconditionally and taught them to love others as they would expect them to be loved and honored. He loved Judas the betrayer, the sexual libertine the woman at the well, the conniving financial cheat Zacchaeus, Peter the disciple who denied Him and many more who were steeped in sin. Jesus Christ was the only perfect human being who ever lived to love others unconditionally and taught us to love and honor our neighbors and especially in the most primary relationship that is in our marriage.  Our relationships and especially our marriages can become a platform where unconditional love to a certain extent can be exercised when we try to fathom God’s everlasting love; Romans 8.

The message here is no human being can love us the way we long to be loved because no other human being will be able to alleviate the spiritual ache that God has placed in us. Why don’t we search and long for that ‘Love’ in the right place?


Notes:

       1. What is the Hebrew word for love


wiki.answers.com › ... › TranslationsEnglish to HebrewCached

You +1'd thisWhat is the Hebrew word for love? In: English to Hebrew [Edit categories]. Answer: noun = ahava (אהבה) verb = ahav (אהב). Contributor: Adamlance. First answer ....

    2. Greek words for love - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_loveCached - Similar

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Ancient Greek has four distinct words for love: agápe, éros, philía, and storgē. ... other languages, it has been historically difficult to separate the meanings of ...

3. Allender, Dan and Tremper Longman 111. Intimate Allies. Carol Stream, 11; Tyndale House publishers, 1995.

4. Garry Thomas, Sacred marriage; ‘What if God Designed Marriage to Make us Holy More than Make us Happy’ Zondervan Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530; Copy Right @ 2000, pg 73.

Book References:

1.Payer To Move Your Mountains, “Powerful Prayers for The Spirit-Filled Life.” (Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, Tennessee, 2000)

2. Timothy Keller, Counterfeit GODS, “The Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power, and the Only Hope That Matters” New York Times Bestselling Author of The Reason for God and The Prodigal God, Published by Penguin Group (U.S.A) Inc; 2009.

3. Jay E.Adams, ‘The Christian Counselor’s Manual, ‘The Practice of Nouthetic Counseling’ (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1973)

4. Timothy Keller, ‘The Prodigal God’ Recovering the Heart of the Christian Faith; Author of the New York Times bestseller The Reason for God, Published by Penguin Group (U.S.A) Inc:copyright @2008 Timothy Keller.

5.David G. Benner & Peter C. Hill, ‘Baker Encyclopedia of Psychology & Counseling’ Second Edition, (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1985, 1999)

6.Dr. Larry Crabb, “Effective Biblical Counseling” How Caring Christians can Become Capable Counselors, (Hammersmith: Marshall Pickering, 1985)

7.The Matthew Henry Study Bible, ‘King James version’ The best of Matthew Henry’s Notes in a Handy One Volume Reference Bible, World Bible Publishers, Inc; 1994, Iowa Falls, U.S.A.

8. David Seeking A Heart Like His, ‘Beth Moore’ Life Way Christian resources, Nashville, Tennessee, 2010, pgs: 206-210.

9.Jay E. Adams, ‘Critical Stages of Biblical Counseling’ Finishing Well, Breaking Through, Getting Started, (New Jersey: Zondervan, 2002)

10.Jay E. Adams, ‘How to Help People Change’ The Four-step Biblical Process, (Grand rapids: Zondervan, 1986)

11.John F. MacArthur, JR. Wayne A. Mack & The Master’s College Faculty, ‘Introduction To Biblical Counseling’, “A Basic Guide To The Principles And Practice Of Counseling”(Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers,1994)

12.Jay E. Adams, ‘Lectures on Counseling’ (Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1978.

13.The Holy Bible, New King James version, Women of Destiny Bible, “Women Mentoring women Through the Scriptures” A Spirit Filled Life Bible, Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, Tennessee, Copyright 1982.

14. Deuteronomy becoming Holy People, Stephen D. Eyre, p:32-26; IVP connect, An imprint of Intervarsity Press, Downers Grove, Illinois, 1998, 2004.
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15. Metzeger, Bruce M. (ed); Michael D. Coogan (ed) (1993). The Oxford Companion to the Bible. Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press. ISBN 0-19-504645-5.

16. Mitchell, Stephen, 1987. The Book of Job. San Francisco: North Point Press. Cited in R. T. Pennock, 1999, Tower of Babel, Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.

17. Stormie Omartin, “The power of a praying wife”, Harvest House Publishers, Eugene 97402; copyright @1997; pgs69-75.

18. Timothy Keller, ‘The Reason for God” Belief in an age of Skepticism, Published by Penguin Group, USA, New York 10014, Copyright,@ 2008; pgs:191-208.


19. William R. Miller, Kathleen A. Jackson, ‘Practical Psychology for Pastors’ The University of Mexico, Prentice Hall, Upper Saddle River, New Jersey 07458; @ 1995, 1985.


20. Garry Thomas, Sacred marriage; ‘What if God Designed Marriage to Make us Holy More than Make us Happy’ Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530; Copy Right @ 2000.


21. Allender, Dan and Tremper Longman 111. Intimate Allies. Carol stream, 11; Tyndale House publishers, 1995.



Website References:

1. The Love of God

www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/l/o/loveofgo.htmCached - Similar

You +1'd this publiThe love of God is greater far. Than tongue or pen can ever tell; It goes beyond the highest star, And reaches to the lowest hell; The guilty pair, bowed down with ...

2. Love of God - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_of_GodCached - Similar
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Love of God (philotheia and philanthropia) are central notions in monotheistic and polytheistic religions, and are important in one's personal relationship with ..

3. The Love Of GodHome Page -

www.theloveofgod.org/Cached - Similar

You +1'd this publiclIf this website just doesn't look right, it's probably because you have a version of Internet Explorer older than version 9 which simply is not powerful enough to ...

4. For the Love of God

thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/loveofgod/Cached - Similar
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2 days ago – For the Love of God is a daily devotional designed to walk a person through the Bible in a year while assisting the reader in discovering the ...

 5. The Attributes of God by A.W. Pink-The Love of God

www.pbministries.org/books/pink/Attributes/attrib_15.htmCached - Similar

You +1'd this publiclyThere are many today who talk about the love of God, who are total strangers to the God of love. The Divine love is commonly regarded as a species of amiable ...

 6. The Love of God - general-conference

www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/the-love-of-god?lang...Cached
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Love is the measure of our faith, the inspiration for our obedience, and the true altitude of our discipleship.

 7. Resources on The Love of God - Desiring God

www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/topic-index/the-love-of-godCached
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Spirit-given assurance and enjoyment of the love of God is the secret to growing in hope through ... The Love of God Has Been Poured Out Within Our Hearts ...

 8. Love Of God

www.allaboutgod.com/love-of-god.htmCached - Similar

You +1'd this publicly.Love Of God - Is the Creator a God of Love? God's Love revealed. God's Love foretold. God's Love manifested through His only Begotten Son.

theguide2.com/true-meaning-love/Cached

You +1'd this publicly4 Jan 2011 – Most people who claim to love someone don't really love them, because they don't know what love actually is. Sponsored Links: What is love ...

 10.Greek words for love - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_loveCached - Similar
You +1'd this publicly.
Ancient Greek has four distinct words for love: agápe, éros, philía, and storgē. ... other languages, it has been historically difficult to separate the meanings of ...


2 comments:

  1. This post is solid, Biblical counsel that will help all who read it. Not only love, but all of the good things of this world fail to ultimately satisfy us, because they are not God.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you Bishop Dennis for your encouragement and it is so true that all the good things in this world would ultimately fail to satisfy. One can find satisfaction in finding the true love, and that id God.

    ReplyDelete