Marriage

Marriage is the first Divine Institution, where God alone is the third person who will participate in all that we do. It is a relationship between a man and a woman and it is the most important relationship in this world which has to be honored. It is one relationship which married couple has to honor if they want to adorn the Gospel! It is a relationship where the individuals move from being two separate human beings into a one-flesh relationship, a new unity of soul and body before God. This is a very exclusive commitment.

 

It is a Mission field where perfect opportunity is given to both the man and woman where they can serve, nurture, and cherish and grow in the knowledge and love of God and at the same time pleasing God. When two sinners join together in holy matrimony, something always can be wrong in our hearts and in our marriages. If we focus our attention on our heart issues, our marriage can have the privilege and opportunity of being living pictures of the Trinity and we can reveal God by the way we love our spouses.  

Mutual submission is a key factor for a successful marriage. When the spouses care for each other and stay committed to that relationship through the intense heat of many battles which could arise, then the marriage becomes a successful marriage. This can be related very much to our relationship with God. God does not promise a world without worries once we become Christians, but He does gives us glimpses of joy and incredible bursts of brilliance in the midst of the marital struggle. God’s Word gives us the strong foundation for a successful marriage in the book of Ephesians.  

²¹ Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. ²² Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.  ²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; ³³nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Ephe: 5: 21-22; 25 and 33.

“Married people confront life as a battle. As intimate allies, they push back the chaos”¹

Couples should constantly take effort to avoid the trigger situations, but also use the triggers to remind themselves to be more loving and reasonable. Plan ahead to deal with those triggers, letting those triggers to be reminders to put the plan into action.

“A successful marriage is one in which two broken and forgiving people stay committed to one another in a sacrificial relationship in the face of life’s chaos.”²

“God created marriages to bring forth a harvest of fruit. The fruit involves not only children but also changes in character, passion, and purpose. The process God instituted to create children and to bring about a change in character is sexual union. Sex changes the heart. It brings forth a chorus of praise, wonder, and joy or a song of sorrow and harm.³

One of the reasons for marital conflict is due to the inability of the husband and wife to leave, weave and climatically cleave. The failure to leave and weave very often damages a healthy sexual relationship between husband and wife. Very often these are little foxes which can destroy the beautiful vineyard and it is wiser to pay attention and keep necessary boundaries. It comes very natural for a parent to love our children, but to love our spouses is a constant effort and in order to bear fruit it should be regularly nurtured.  

Our marriages are constantly challenged by the offenses we commit against our spouses. Forgiveness is the key issue and this should be remembered as much as possible in our relationship with our spouse. God speaks of our relationship with Him as a marriage. This is amazing, but our relationship with God is so intimate that it could be understood only in the light of the passion that is to be shared within a marriage union. Although we can not fathom the depth of this mystery, there is a deep desire in the heart of God for us to have deep relationship with Him.

The above can be easily extrapolated to the first Divine Institution which is marriage, and God created male and female so that they would be companions to each other to nullify the loneliness, communicate, know each other intimately and glorify God. What a glorious thing it would be if the couple can join together in many things, most of all in prayer which is a huge weapon against the enemy of our souls?

Marriages should be a safe place where spouses communicate with out fear and this is God’s desire for the couple. In the light of the fear of God, all other fears should fade into insignificance.

Indeed, our marriages can become the testing ground for God to win us to Himself!

Notes:

^{1, 2}  Allender, Dan and Tremper Longman 111. Intimate Allies. Carol stream, 11; Tyndale House publishers, 1995; pgs346-347.

3 Allender, Dan and Tremper Longman 111. Intimate Allies. Carol stream, 11; Tyndale House publishers, 1995; pg211.

Book Reference:

Allender, Dan and Tremper Longman 111. Intimate Allies. Carol stream, 11; Tyndale House publishers, 1995.

Other Book References:

1.Payer To Move Your Mountains, “Powerful Prayers for The Spirit-Filled Life.” (Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, Tennessee, 2000)
2. Practical Psychology for Pastors, William R. Miller, Kathleen A. Jackson (The University of Mexico), second Edition, Prentice – Hall Inc, 1995,1985, Upper Saddle River, New Jersey 07458.
3. Jay E.Adams, ‘The Christian Counselor’s Manual, ‘The Practice of Nouthetic Counseling’ (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1973)
4. John G. Kruis, ‘Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling; (Grand rapids: Baker Books, Third edition, p. 169-170)
5. David G. Benner & Peter C. Hill, ‘Baker Encyclopaedia of Psychology & Counseling’ Second Edition, (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 1985, 1999)
6. Dr. Larry Crabb, “Effective Biblical Counseling” How Caring Christians can Become Capable Counselors, (Hammersmith: Marshall Pickering, 1985), p. 100-104).
7.The Matthew Henry Study Bible, ‘King James version’ The best of Matthew Henry’s Notes in a Handy One Volume Reference Bible, World Bible Publishers, Inc; 1994, Iowa Falls, U.S.A.
8. David Seeking A Heart Like His, ‘Beth Moore’ Life Way Christian resources, Nashville, Tennessee, 2010, pgs: 206-210.
9. Jay E. Adams, ‘Critical Stages of Biblical Counseling’ Finishing Well, Breaking Through, Getting Started, (New Jersey: Zondervan, 2002)
10. Jay E. Adams, ‘How to Help People Change’ The Four-step Biblical Process, (Grand rapids: Zondervan, 1986)
11. John F. MacArthur, JR. Wayne A. Mack & The Master’s College Faculty, ‘Introduction To Biblical Counseling’, “A Basic Guide To The Principles And Practice Of Counseling”(Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers,1994)
12. Jay E. Adams, ‘Lectures on Counseling’ (Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1978, p.192-203)13. The Holy Bible, New King James version, Women of Destiny Bible, “Women Mentoring women Through the Scriptures” A Spirit Filled Life Bible, Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, Tennessee, Copyright 1982.
14. Deuteronomy becoming Holy People, Stephen D. Eyre, p:32-26; IVP connect, An imprint of Intervarsity Press, Downers Grove, Illinois, 1998, 2004.
15. Metzeger, Bruce M. (ed); Michael D. Coogan (ed) (1993). The Oxford Companion to the Bible. Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press. ISBN 0-19-504645-5.
16. Mitchell, Stephen, 1987. The Book of Job. San Francisco: North Point Press. Cited in R. T. Pennock, 1999, Tower of Babel, Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.

17. Stormie Omartin, “The power of a praying wife”, Harvest House Publishers, Eugene 97402; copyright @1997; pgs81-85.

18. Allender, Dan and Tremper Longman 111. Intimate Allies. Carol stream, 11; Tyndale House publishers, 1995.

19. God’s Good Design, Claire Smith, What the Bible Really says about Men and Women, Kingsford, NSW, Australia, @ Matthias Media,2012; pgs: 157-180.   

20. Everett L. Worthington JR. Author of Forgiving and Reconciling, ‘Hope-Focused Marriage Counseling’ A Guide to Brief Therapy; IVP Academic, Intervarsity Press, Illinois, copyright @ 2005; pgs 146-167.