Friendships
(For
my hurting clients & for those who are hurting..)
And
the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was
imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God; Jam.
2: 23.
This verse highlights, about Abraham’s close relationship and faith in God. This was credited to him as righteousness. This close relationship with God earned him the title as “Friend of God”. Despite being childless for a long time, He trusted God because of his friendship relationship with God, which is deeper, and had Isaac as the heritage son of his older age. A true friend will not only love when the road is easy, but at all times.
“Here is a proof that
faith cannot exist without being active in works of righteousness. His faith in
God would have been of no avail to him, had it not been manifested by works.” (Clarke)
A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is
born for adversity; Prov. 17:17.
Strong's Greek: 5384. φίλος (philos) -- Friend -
Bible Hub
5384 phílos – a friend; someone dearly loved (prized) in a personal, intimate way; a trusted confidant, held dear in a close bond of …[i]
Friendships can be healthy, and allow us to learn from each other, grow in empathy, social skills and helps in emotional regulation. Friends love to spend time together, enjoy other’s company, often help each other in practical ways, such as offering advice or assistance during challenges in life.
Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend; Prov. 27:17.
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up;
Ecc. 4: 9-10.
A good friend is one who respects boundaries, listens without judgment, emotionally supports, encourages personal growth, shares common interest, and is built on mutual support, trust, respect, care, honesty and genuinely want the best for you. They do not have to be perfect or available all the time, but makes one feel emotionally safe, valued, and seen over time. A good friend knows your inner world and not surface details, with whom one can feel safe being honest and vulnerable.
“The bond of real friendship is often closer than the natural tie. The friendship between David and Jonathan is such an example.” (Bridges)
Fair-weather friends are friends only when the weather is pleasant and fair; and they are not true friends at all. There will not be consistency and reciprocity with fair weather friends. On the other hand, in toxic friendships it involves toxic manipulation, peer pressure or lack of reciprocity.
From a neuroscience perspective, friendships play a significant role in maintaining mental and physical health. Our brains are wired for social connection. Positive social interactions release neurotransmitters like oxytocin and endorphins, promoting happiness and reducing stress. This neurochemical response is fundamental to our survival and well-being which makes nurturing and maintaining friendships even more important.[ii]
Some times, Christian friends break up because of varied reasons: different levels of spiritual growth, bad company, personal issues, divine purposes, financial issues, and also what was revealed in private, the shared secrets of their heart, being openly shared to others. Friendship betrayal can be painfully transformative, leading to trust fractures. Healthy friendships reflect mutual support and respect, while toxic ones can drain one’s energy and spirit.
When something falls in our eye, we tear up; and if we hurt a person deeply, the true feelings of that person comes out eventually. If we throw stones at birds, we are going to scare them away. That principle applies, if we insult a friend, the friendship is broken. If we are arrogant enough to reveal their secrets to others, and turn on them unexpectedly we are going to loose friendships.
“Beings engaged in evil designs have no other way of going, but with tricks, devices, concealments, double meanings. Sin is a mean and despicable thing. The greatest potentate of evil was here doomed to cringe and crawl, and his seed have never forgotten their father’s posture.” (Spurgeon)
Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good
manners;1 Cori. 15: 33.
God’s word gives us guidance to navigate friendship breakups. Bible emphasizes that it is important to let go of friends who are unsupportive, manipulative, deceptive, jealous, harmful and so on. Then again, the most important thing is if the friendship hinders spiritual growth or leading one to fear them more than at ease, it is time to recalibrate, and reevaluate the bond of that friendship.
Honouring and respecting others during tough endings are essential Biblically. Misunderstandings and grievances arises, but we have Biblically informed perspective for resolutions. This is important because when friends act against God’s teachings and values, that act as a very bad testament for Christ. It is imperative to love the people God gave us in our lives because one day God will own them back. The only road to healing, is to forgive our trespassers just like Jesus did on the cross.
Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots; Lk. 23: 34.
Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God.
Honour the king; 1 Pet. 2: 17.
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother; Prov. 18: 24.
Morgan on the principle of this proverb:
“Let it be applied. Then two startling questions will arise. First, a question
as to whether I am really a friend to anyone; and second, a question as to how
many real friends I have.”
Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you; Jn. 15: 15.
Charles Bridges “We must look to our Lord for the
best example in this matter. We see the Son of God taking on our nature so that
he might be our friend and brother (Hebrews 2:14). The mystery of this
friendship is beyond our imagination.”
“The ancient Jews applied this proverb to Christ, adducing it as a testimony that the divine Messiah would by his incarnation become the Brother of man.” (Bridges)
“The
grace that does not change my life will not save my soul.” Charles Spurgeon
“We are sent out into the world to love one another. Sometimes we live as if we were sent into the world to compete with one another, or to dispute with one another, or even to quarrel with one another.” (Barclay)
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends; Jn. 15: 13.
Personally I like friends, and love to spend time with them, doing things with them, entertain them at my home and love to talk about the greatest of all friends, which is The Only One Friend who is Truthful and trustworthy always; The friend in the Dale! Abraham knew “That Friend” long time ago, and we The Church is called to know Him and be Known by Him!
Apart from the second
Advent of our Lord, the world is more likely to sink into a pandemonium than to
rise into a millennium.” (Spurgeon)
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