Personal integrity?

Integrity is a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or accuracy of one's actions.

Integrity can be regarded as the opposite of hypocrisy,^[1] in that integrity regards internal consistency as a virtue, and suggests that parties holding apparently conflicting values should account for the discrepancy or alter their beliefs.

The word "integrity" stems from the Latin adjective integer (whole, complete).^[2] In this context, integrity is the inner sense of "wholeness" deriving from qualities such as honesty and consistency of character. As such, one may judge that others "have integrity" to the extent that they act according to the values, beliefs and principles they claim to hold.

Every one should be careful to protect one’s own integrity because if we fault on it the character starts to decay! It does not matter what one owns, money, talents, friends, education or popularity; if they do not have character every thing else is totally lost! People with integrity are people who are honest with themselves, with God and others. The need not wear masks, and they do not need to spend their energy pretending to be the one whom they are not. Most of all they are not afraid of what others may find out about them because they have nothing to hide.   

The alternative to integrity is hypocrisy and that eventually leads to more than one that is duplicity. When that dominates they become two people inside, and neither of the one knows the other. When one is a hypocrite they eventually loose the inner wholeness, and become confused and conflicted. They can not function successfully in life or enjoy all that God wants us to enjoy. 

Let us look at 1 Timothy3: 1-7 which talks about the qualifications for church leaders. This chapter deals with the proper conduct of Christian leadership, in which the character of the leaders is specified. The leaders should be blameless or without reproach, and he must not lie under any scandal. Not having given a bill of divorce to one and taken another, or not having many wives which was common to Jews and Gentiles during the time of earthly ministry of Jesus. He must be vigilant and watchful against Satan and he must watch over himself, and he should be sober, which means he must be temperate and moderate in all his actions. In a nut shell he must have a good report among his neighbors and without reproach and not double tongued. All these can be put in a nut shell, which is he should be a man of character and integrity!

How does one cultivate integrity? This means much more than knowing the Bible fully well. That is learning to know the author of the Bible, who is God the Almighty, and understanding His forgiveness, His truth, His Church and His unfailing love. A good study book to cultivate integrity would be the first Epistle of John, which comes from a faithful walk with Jesus Christ, which is walking in the light, and no shadows or nothing to hide. “He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him”1 Jn 2:10.

Fellowship with Him and One Another

⁵ This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. ⁶ If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. ⁷ But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.

⁸ If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. ⁹ If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. ¹⁰ If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.1 John 1: 5-10.

God is light and a self-active uncompounded spirituality, purity, wisdom and holiness and there is no mixture of anything alien contrary to absolute Excellency or any decay in Him. God is light and in Him there is no darkness at all. To walk in darkness is to live and act according to such ignorance, error and erroneous practice as is contrary to the fundamental dictates of our ‘holy calling’. There may be those who may pretend to great attainments and enjoyments and profess to have communion with God, yet their lives may be immoral, impure, unholy conversation and lie and their personal integrity will be a question! What communion has light with darkness?

Do we agree that our “walk” is a good description of our spiritual progress? If not what other word would we choose to describe? Crawl? Sprint? Jog? Stand still? How do we relate our spiritual walk with our personal integrity and character? How important is this to us as Christians in an ever changing world of value systems with regard to ‘integrity’?

Foot Notes:

1. ^ John Louis Lucaites; Celeste Michelle Condit, Sally Caudill (1999). Contemporary rhetorical theory: a reader. Guilford Press. p. 92. ISBN 1-57230-401-4. 

2. ^ "integrity". The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language (4th edition ed.). El- shaddai ØØØ. 2000. Retrieved 2009-05-13. "... from integer, whole, complete"

References:

1. Dr. Ed Murphy. The Handbook for Spiritual Warfare. Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1992, 1996, pgs: 432-436.

2. Jay E. Adams. Critical Stages of Biblical Counseling, Finishing Well, Breaking Through, Getting Started.  New Jersey: Zondervan, 2002.
3. Jay E. Adams. How to Help People Change, The Four-step Biblical Process. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1986.
4. John F. MacArthur, JR. Wayne A. Mack & The Master’s College Faculty. Introduction To Biblical Counseling, A Basic Guide To The Principles And Practice Of Counseling. Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1994.
5. Jay E. Adams. Lectures on Counseling. Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1978, p.192-203.

6. The Holy Bible, New King James Version, Women of Destiny Bible. Women Mentoring women Through the Scriptures, A Spirit Filled Life Bible. Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1982.

7. Warren W. Wiersbe. Devotions for confidence & Integrity, Hebrews & John. Colorado, Springs, Colorado: Honor Books, @2006.

Website References:

       1. John 1 NKJV - The Eternal Word - In the beginning was - Bible Gateway

www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+1&version=NKJV

The Eternal Word. 1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through ...

 2.       1 John 1 NKJV - What Was Heard, Seen, and Touched - Bible Gateway

www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+John+1&version=NKJV

What Was Heard, Seen, and Touched. 1 That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our ...

 3.       John 1 New King James Version | The New Bible.com

https://www.bible.com/bible/nkjv/john.1.nkjv

Bible.com is all new! Enjoy a free online Bible from You Version. Now, the simple, ad-free Bible experience loved by millions is available at Bible.com.

      4. Integrity - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Integrity

Integrity is a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty ...

       Testing of integrity ·

       Integrity in ethics·

      Psychological/work

 

Holding Loose.....

                                                            Holding Loose.....

What is ‘holding loose’ mean? This means not holding tight to anything we value—a career, wealth, relationships, an accomplishment, or even a ministry.  

A dear friend of mine wrote the following and it was from her heart of great pain!

Last conversation "guess what I read in the book of Jeremiah today" (always, always excited about God's Word) "don't put my pyjamas to the wash", (knowing my habit of throwing everything to the wash), helping me clear the room for the workmen who were coming that day to change the windows (my strong man), "thank you for making my lunch" (always so gracious and thankful).

Disbelief, heart and mind not making a connection.
For 2 days, my mind and body screamed silently "NOOOOOOOOOO"
How can this be?  Ministry was going great, our marriage was at the sweetest it had ever been, Julius was looking to retirement wanting to serve the Lord and asking for His direction, plans, dreams for our girls...
Even the actual accident does not make sense. Why us?
But God...“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. Is 55:8-9. (from the blog : A well watered garden). This is one example of a fiery trial!

        As I am writing this blog it is definitely with so much pain, tears and agony for my friend who just lost her husband in a highway accident. Trials in life comes in various format, colors, shapes and with complicate intricate designs and some times they drive you to the deepest valleys where no one could help and all we can do is ‘God help me’. Very often they come in such style it can even try to take the faith away from God, if one does not immerse themselves in His Word. 

       As I am writing this I am not trying to minimize the emotional pain, nor our heart and mind connection, nor the reality of some of the fiery trials. The question here would be when the rubber hits the road in reality, and where is our hope? Who is our real hope?

 

    “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you: But rejoice, in as much as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that when His glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”1 Pet. 4: 12-13.

Soul- Has moments’ expression of who I am and includes mind, will and emotions. It has thoughts.

 Spirit –Identity is the essential being and is in the Spirit. God breathed Spirit into man and he became living.

Satan’s power is in the ‘lying tongue.’ With that he confuses the mind, affect the body and gain power and control.

The Biblical word “heart,” is the inner aspect of a man, made of the above three-part all together, with the primary part the:

1) Mental Process, which is the major part (where action & reaction take place), which is to lead a person in their life.

2) Emotions (which only process as reaction), as icing to enrich our lives.

3) Will, the seat of the will (discretionary, volitional, decision-making) where decisions are made between the rational and the emotive.

 “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks” Lk. 6:45.

The heart is the center of man’s character – who he really is:

 (Matthew 15:18). Heart is the seat of physical life, Acts 14:17; Jas. 5:5; the seat of moral nature and spiritual life, the seat of grief, John 14:1; Rom. 9:2; 2 Cor. 2:4; joy, John 16:22; Eph. 5:19; the desires, Matt. 5:28; 2 Pet. 2:14; the affections, Luke 24:32; Acts 21:13; the perceptions, John 12:40; Eph. 4:18; the thoughts, Matt. 9:4; Heb. 4:12; the understanding, Matt. 13:15; Rom. 1:21; the reasoning powers, Mark 2:6; Luke 24:38; the imagination, Luke 1:51; conscience, Acts 2:37; 1 John 3:20; the intentions, Heb. 4:12, (cf.) 1 Pet. 4:1; purpose, Acts 11:23; 2 Cor. 9:7; the will, Rom. 6:17; Col. 3:15; faith, Mark 11:23; Rom. 10:10; Heb. 3:12. The heart, in its moral significance in the OT, includes the emotions, the reason, and the will.

And the world passeth away…., Not the matter and substance, but the fashion, form, and scheme of it, 1 Cori 7:31; kingdoms, cities, towns, houses, families, estates, and possessions, are continually changing, and casting into different hands, and different forms; the men of the world, the inhabitants of it, are continually removing; one generation goes, and another comes, new faces are continually appearing; the riches and honours of the world are fading, perishing, and transitory things; everything is upon the flux, nothing is permanent; which is another argument why the world, and the things of it, are not to be loved: Gills Exposition of the entire Bible.

               As our heart remember previous life experiences and identity we have had, it is very obvious that our past experiences of self become part of our heart. When we loose something or somebody that we hold very dear, often Satan confuses our mind, affect the body and try to gain control and destroy us from inside out, and rob us of the glory that God has kept in a believer and try to strip us away from His Divine plan.

            An awful sense of the divine perfection is the best antidote against suffering in trials and persecutions. The faith and hope of a Christian are defensible against the entire world. This leads every believer to answer and apologize the hope that is in them even in very difficult circumstances and in fiery trials.

                                                                    Prayer

           Lord, because You are God and I am a mere human, understanding the mystery of Your ways is impossible 1 Cori 2: 7-9. Just like many men and women of faith who died before receiving the fulfillment of Your promises, I want to seek Your intervention, cling to Your assurance of faithfulness, and look forward to a better place; Heb: 11:13, 16.

References:

1. Dr. Ed Murphy. The Handbook for Spiritual Warfare. Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1992, 1996, pgs: 432-436.

2. Jay E. Adams. Critical Stages of Biblical Counseling, Finishing Well, Breaking Through, Getting Started.  New Jersey: Zondervan, 2002.
3. Jay E. Adams. How to Help People Change, The Four-step Biblical Process. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1986.
4. John F. MacArthur, JR. Wayne A. Mack & The Master’s College Faculty. Introduction To Biblical Counseling, A Basic Guide To The Principles And Practice Of Counseling. Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1994.
5. Jay E. Adams. Lectures on Counseling. Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1978, p.192-203.

6. The Holy Bible, New King James Version, Women of Destiny Bible. Women Mentoring women Through the Scriptures, A Spirit Filled Life Bible. Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1982.

Website References:

1. The Soul Versus The Spirit

www.greatbiblestudy.com/soul_spirit.php

How did demonic spirits vex and possess (control) people in the Bible? It was through their souls (minds, as in mental illness and insanity), and their bodies ... one another with a pure heart fervently: Being born again, not of corruptible seed, ...

2. The Heart and the Mind ~ What the Biblical - Faith Bible Ministries Blog

faithbibleministries.wordpress.com/.../the-heart-and-the-mind-what-t...

Jul 6, 2012 – The Heart and the Mind ~ What the Biblical word “Heart' Means ... describe the immaterial part of man: the heart, soul, spirit, and mind. .... The heart is connected with thinking: As a person “thinketh in his heart, so is he” (Prov.

3.Isaiah 45:1 "This is what the LORD says to his anointed, to Cyrus ...

bible.cc/isaiah/45-1.htm

Clarke's Commentary on the Bible. Loose the loins of kings "ungird the loins of ... anointed armor be before by Cyrus doors gates hand have him his hold I is kings loins loose ...

4.bible - ChristArt Christian Clip Art Search - page 3

www.christart.com/search?q=bible&g=1&start=3

Boy and girl fish holding Bible ... Loose notes next to a Bible

       5.Isaiah 33:23 Your rigging hangs loose: The mast is not held secure ...

bible.cc/isaiah/33-23.htm

New American Standard Bible (©1995) Your tackle hangs slack; It cannot hold ... "Thy ropes hang loose; they do not hold fast the support of thy mast; they do not hold the flag ...

6.       The New Bible.com

https://www.bible.com

Bible.com is all new! Enjoy a free online Bible from YouVersion. Now, the simple, ad-free Bible experience loved by millions is available at Bible.com.

7.       Anger, Wrath, Temper Control, & the Bible

www.gospelway.com/christianlife/anger.php

Bible teaching about anger and controlling your temper ... but we must take care lest we "fly off the handle," lose ... needs to be said, but we should control our anger: hold ...

8. Images of diagrams of holding loose

bing.com/images

A little glimpse into….marriages beyond the Fall

Marriages struggle under the freight of fall. We struggle with sin in all aspects in every dimension and in marriage more intensely with a potential for damage. Marriages are a crucible not only for sin to be exposed but also for forgiveness to restore relationship and intensify our hope for heaven. Redemption can never come without the war.

The fall not only affected the relationships, but the fallout of sin also affected the internal makeup of man and woman. God in His grace provides to Adam and Eve, clothes to cover their nakedness after the fall. This account of fall should remind the readers of this article that we will never experience the kind of intimacy, passion, and union God intended for husbands and wives! In other words, increased loneliness and sense of futility came in full in marriages after the Fall.

Take a life illustration as an example, when one doubts at their capacity to deal with the chaos of life, it is easier to snipe at their spouse, and blame for their lonely existence. It is easier to blame the other spouse and not acknowledging what is wrong in their marriage! One needs to see their options in life; either choose to live by pretense or to be broken by their sin and surrender to the Gospel. 

After all, we are sinners, every single one of us born of a woman, and we are exploring the following article based on various passages of the Book of Romans. A good indication to confirm that we are sinners is, that our conscience constantly tells us that we are not living up to God’s expectation for our lives!

The nature of Sin

‘Sin involves not only what we do; but also what we think and feel.’¹

Referring passages in Jam 2:8-11; it is pretty clear that in God’s eyes the least sin is as major as the grossest sin. Eve ate the fruit, but her dialogue with the serpent took place with Adam next to her. When Eve finished eating it, she handed the fruit to her husband and he ate it without an argument. Through the lens of Genesis 3, we see clearly both Adam and Eve are two rebellious sinners. The truth here is human beings are glorious creatures of God, as well as ugly sinners. This point has to be understood clearly before a man and a woman enters into the marriage relationship.

Sin has impacted all marriages, and also we see how sin disrupts and occasionally tears marriage apart. We will also see certain triggers that lead to conflicts and pain in the marriage relationship. This includes sex, violence, limited time and money and divided loyalty. God does not leave His people to wallow in sin, but within the context of the Curse at the time of Fall, God gives us a glimpse of the promise of Redemption. ¹⁵ And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel. (Gen: 3:15).

The pervasiveness of sin:

How pervasive is sin? ²³ For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Rom: 3:23; reminds us of the effect of fall, and the intensity of sin. When one rely on anything but God for sustenance, strength, wisdom and beauty that mean we have turned away from worshipping Him. Sin is not only a matter of choosing the right from the wrong, but in one sentence ‘sin is the refusal to trust God’; Rom 5. Speaking metaphorically, rebellion is in our blood. ²⁵ Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen; Rom 1:25. The consequences of the Fall showed Adam and Eve just how wrong they were.

We do not see the weight of our own sin as the fundamental issue that must be dealt with in all relational problems. It means that nothing is free from the impact of our sin, not our intellect, feelings, choices, or actions. But God did not create us to be sinners; He created us to be His glorious creatures. James pointed out that the law of God is a unity and that by breaking the law, we have broken the entire law. To break any law is to break them all; Matt 5:48; Levi 19:2; Deut: 18:13; Jam: 2:8-11; Rom 3: 9-20.

Oddly, it will be the ‘wounds of marriage’ that may propel each partner to look to God in the midst of their heartache². We now see just how deep our guilt lies. But how many people are desperate for mercy? How many marriages jointly propel both spouses to hunger for forgiveness? Sadly many couple functions with the relational and spiritual detachment.

Heartaches of Marriage:

 

a. Loneliness and/Futility; Ecc: 7:26-29.

 Feelings shared by many people who marry in order to find companionship and end up disillusioned because they feel lonely, depressed, abused and more confused than before. The point to be remembered is that after sin entered the world, the loneliness that Adam felt before the Fall returned. Only this time the loneliness was not a benign sigh but a heart rendering cry!  We have a hope here! Marriages after the Garden of Eden are not the final solution, but the Promised Land that will restore Eden.

Marriages can be a wonderful avenue for intimate relationship when we no longer demand that our marriages restore us to the bliss of Eden. The teacher in Ecclesiastes recognizes the benefits of relationship when he says, ¹¹ Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Ecc 4:11. When we feel slighted or unfulfilled by our spouse, it can fuel the lust and violence of our hearts in ways that increases the heartache.

b. Murder

Anger murders relationship; Matt: 5:21-26.  Anger is the response to a real or perceived attack, but it meets the challenge by pushing harder in return. The result is increased loneliness and a sense of futility. No one stands closer than the spouse, and very often our spouses become the object of our anger and hatred! Anger is an emotion, and if not rightly used this emotion becomes a demand for immediate vengeance. It is an evil desire to make some one pay for the emptiness, unfairness, and the cruelty of life. Anger says, “If I suffer, then you will suffer too. If I get kicked by life, then I will kick some one who is weaker and smaller in an attempt to bear the rage I feel toward the strong.”

c. Lust

Lust and murder are the twisted passions that respond to the futility brought on by loneliness in relationships. Before adultery becomes a specific deed, it starts in the heart and it is the energy of the heart. It is a desire gone awry, a ravenous demand to fulfill.

Other examples of lust: gossip, craving for food….uncontrollable desire to do things; which are ungodly…Matt: 5:27-30.

d. Love your enemies

If we can read Matt: 5:41-48 without our jaws dropping out of their sockets, then we are not honest with ourselves. Jesus here tells us that our thoughts, actions, emotions, and choices need to be those of the Lord God of the universe. Since we do sin and continue to offend God with our whole being, God’s standard to love our enemies is unattainable. The royal law found in the Scripture is “Love your neighbor as yourself”.

Hope of Redemption

Many marriages that stay together are unhappy relationships. They do not even have to be abusive, they may simply be cold, distant relationships that provide no compassion or support in the battle of daily life. Hope comes in brokenness. It comes with forgiveness and a desire to cancel debt and to love boldly. There is Biblical hope for contemporary marriages.

The life style of repentance and forgiveness gives us hope for joy in the present. It also looks beyond to something greater. Knowing our faults and opening them with our spouse is not a sign of weakness, but it is a step toward strength, and that vulnerability produces confidence in the marital relationship. Jesus Christ brings us hope and joy in the relationship, and help us to move forward. The Gospel opens our eyes to the Marriage that every one of us desires³. Tragedy of tragedies will be the life spent without having a deep personal relationship with the living God, through Jesus Christ. I do not want that life for anyone born of a woman and this is the cry of my heart!

 

^Notes:          

^{1, 2} Allender, Dan and Tremper Longman III. Intimate Allies. Carol Stream: Tyndale House publishers, 1995; pgs, 301, 346.

3 Allender, Dan and Tremper Longman III. Intimate Allies. Carol Stream: Tyndale House publishers, 1995; pg331.

Book Reference:

1. Allender, Dan and Tremper Longman III. Intimate Allies. Carol Stream.: Tyndale House publishers, 1995.

2. Jay E. Adams. Critical Stages of Biblical Counseling, Finishing Well, Breaking Through, Getting Started.  New Jersey: Zondervan, 2002.
3. Jay E. Adams. How to Help People Change, The Four-step Biblical Process. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1986.
4. John F. MacArthur, JR. Wayne A. Mack & The Master’s College Faculty. Introduction To Biblical Counseling, A Basic Guide To The Principles And Practice Of Counseling. Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1994.
5. Jay E. Adams. Lectures on Counseling. Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1978, p.192-203.

6. The Holy Bible, New King James Version, Women of Destiny Bible. Women Mentoring women Through the Scriptures, A Spirit Filled Life Bible. Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1982.

Male and female: Divine Comedy or Brilliance?

Talk to the most happily married couples or to the best of friends and they will tell you that sometimes they do not “understand each other,” “he does not listen to me,” or “I just do not understand her.”

If this sounds familiar do not fret as it is to be expected and even normal. The female and male brain is different and the two brains process information differently. The good news is that with some conscious effort communication can be enhanced between the brains and frustrations lowered.¹

Many of the problems we face are not problems between individual couples, but between men and women in general. They are problems that arise because we are either too lazy or too selfish to get to know our spouse well enough to understand how different from us they really are!

 

Let us look at this article from a Biblical perspective.  Gender somehow reflects something about God and His glory. A man reflects something about God’s character that is different from a woman and vice versa. Let me start with a question; “why do we struggle with being men and women?”

 

God’s enemy is Satan, and he wishes to destroy glory and since he can not destroy God, he wishes to destroy the reflection of God, man and woman. Satan’s prime way of attempting to destroy God’s glory and image in ‘man’ is to make it too frightening to be truly man or woman and to offer ‘counterfeit’ routes to live out our gender. What does it mean to be a male and female? What does it mean that God made Adam and Eve to work together? How do we work together as husbands and wives to fulfill the creation mandate to fulfill, subdue and rule creation?

God created Adam for relationship, and He mad a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and brought it to the man; Gen: 2:18; 21-22. The force of the point here is God, made another person who was neither his master nor his inferior, but his equal. “Eve was not made out of his head to top him, not out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him” –Matthew Henry. God knew that without intimacy with an equal, Adam was lonely, even with the creation and the Creator. God could have exclusively filled Adam’s heart, but in His Divine brilliance, He did not do that! This was staggering humility on God’s part to make ‘something’ that was not to be fully satisfied with the Creator and the creation and definitely this is incomprehensible for us!  

To understand the uniqueness of males and females we have to ask 3 exegetical questions.

1. Why did God make Adam first and give him the prohibition about the tree of the knowledge of good and evil before He created Eve?
2. Why did God have Adam name the animals without Eve and realize in the process that Adam needs a helper suitable for him?
3. Why did God bring different curses on man and woman?

Adam has more of a direct role in subduing and bearing responsibility for the direction of the Kingdom and this does not mean that Eve was not responsible for her sins, and that she has no role in subduing and directing their activities in the Garden. Adam was built with the physical and internal makeup to ‘enter, create, and shape form out of chaos’. The curse given to Adam involved his work and all his shaping of chaos would be fraught with futility. He would succeed but not without sweat, blood and sorrow and even his success would be a trial.  The curse was meant to punish and to provide the humbling context for ‘Redemption’.

A woman’s role as a helper does not mean that she is weaker or stronger. She is a ‘helper’ who is jointly to engage creation and enter into relationship to bring glory to God. Her primary calling is one of ‘warrior of relationship’ guardian of truth in relationship, and one who is made to uniquely reflect God’s heart for relationship. The curse given to Eve involved relationships; and all her birthing of life would be laced with pain and loneliness. This means that Eve would bring forth life with sweat, blood and sorrow and she would be in conflict with her husband; Gen 3:16.

To extrapolate it further, in her loneliness, the woman will desire to absorb, to swallow the man to fill her emptiness, and he will fail her with base withdrawal or violent assault….SAD! This readily seems to imply that Eve was created with the physical and internal makeup to receive, gestate, and shape relationships out of the beauty of form.  Here again the curse was meant to punish for disobedience and to provide the humbling context for ‘Redemption’.

Sexually, a man plants his seed, and a woman slowly incubates the mysterious union of egg and sperm; and together they create a human being. A man is a planter, pursuer who is to enter the world with a strength and courage that form a new being. This tells us that human strength is an analogue of God’s love of order, righteousness and wrath.

 A woman is a nurturer, who brings creation to life through the tender interconnectedness of her body and soul with the unborn child. This tells us that human tenderness is an analogue of God’s love of mystery, tenderness and mercy. A man courageously creates, and a woman creatively shapes his creation into a lovely, relationally enhancing beauty! One without the other is a grave-distortion- male moving to violence and female gravitating to absorption. Order without mercy is authoritarian; mystery without form is hedonism. In other words male and female operate in a precious balance between life and death.

[What does love mean?

Many people are surprised to learn there is not a single word for love in the Bible, there are TWO words! And only two words.

 
The Hebrew word for maleness love means: The "strong person in the home"

The Hebrew word for femaleness love means:The "strong person in the home, (with his) Person behold!"

Really folks, does this surprise you? A family home with two sources of love. Both different. Yet complimentary. This the true picture of LOVE in the Bible. We hear people speak of "agape" as some kind of supreme godly love.

Yes, it is important, but not complete. Agape is a Greek word translated from ahab, the Hebrew word for maleness love. In the Bible, GOD is a FAMILY of members, each with distinct and complimentary personalities of love expressed. May God bless our relearning of His love.]²

Scientific studies indicate that men are more perverse and violent than women. Sexual abusers are mostly men, and mostly perpetrated by men. Women are most likely to be depressed and struggle with bulimia and codependency. What does all these symptoms, point to? Nothing but the emptiness and absorptive tendencies and even with the symptoms of sin men and women differ greatly. 

A strong husband will generally draw forth the strong tenderness of his wife, and a tender wife will birth the tender strength of her husband. This is suppose to be so, when husbands and wives labor to grow into the likeness of God. They will equally grow and shape the other, and as a result will fill the earth and subdue the earth to God’s character. Together they bear a splendour that can not be found in either person alone. Their relationship dispels loneliness and offers the one and only truly equal relationship found on earth.

The splendour of maleness and the beauty of femaleness are provided in Psalm 45. Gender is the revelation of God, who is also protected by mystery, and they are created in the image of God. The image of God is particularized into gender, and His character can not be captured by His human image bearers. In other words, each gender typically accentuates certain aspects of God’s character. God is King which highlights strength, but also mother which emphasizes His compassion; Ps: 131; Isa: 66:13.

“As males and females we are significantly and intriguingly different….The differences invite fascinating, unending exploration.”³

_{“We have a choice: We can either delight in diversity or destroy distinctions.”}⁴

Marriage is the first Divine institution and God in His brilliance made it between a male and a female in order to reveal and accentuate His character.  Husband’s strength helps him resonate God’s strong qualities, and he can help his wife understand that aspect of God more clearly, even though he does it imperfectly. In a similar fashion, a woman’s tenderness and compassion can increase her husband’s awareness of God’s mercy; 1 Pet: 3:1-2. We have an awesome God, great designer of the universe and gender, made us male and female to have communion with Him, so we can try to understand this unfathomable mystery of gender!

God is the author of relationship and He in His brilliance made the gender, male and female, wired so different, yet in His image to revel in His love. Nothing, absolutely nothing is more important in this world than to have a beautiful relationship with the Living God, and to find our identity in Him and through Him. I could never even imagine for a minute that the creation of male and female were Divine comedy, but indeed it was Divine brilliance. It is our lack of understanding in our fallenness we make gender as a Divine comedy!

_Notes:

       _1. The Male/Female Brain | Brain Health & Brain Fitness Blog

www.fitbrains.com/blog/2008/10/.../the-malefemale-brai... - United StatesCached - Similar

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21 Oct 2008 – He and his colleagues sampled speech from male and female college students, who ...... translator of Dante's Divine Comedy from Italian into English verse. ... background with Lewis in terms of class and intellectual brilliance, ...

     2. Hebrew, letters, love, maleness, femaleness, ahab, ahabah, agape

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Strong's Number or Single Word Search. Spiritual Springs: File z = 16. Hebrew, letters, love, maleness, femaleness, ahab, ahabah, agape ... This is the Hebrew word for femaleness love. The "strong... May God bless our relearning of His love.

3, 4. Allender, Dan and Tremper Longman III. Intimate Allies. Carol Stream, Illinois; Tyndale House publishers, 1995.pg: 144, 158, 159

Book References:

1. Thomas Garry. Sacred Marriage: What if God designed Marriage More to Make us Holy than to make us Happy. Toronto: Harper Collins Canada, 2002.

2. Claire Smith. God’s Good Design, What The Bible Really Says About Men and    Women. Kingsford, Australia: Matthiasmedia, 2012, pgs: 105-155.

3.  Allender, Dan and Tremper Longman III. Intimate Allies. Carol Stream, Illinois: Tyndale House publishers, 1995.

Website Reference:

       1.The Male/Female Brain | Brain Health & Brain Fitness Blog

www.fitbrains.com/blog/2008/10/.../the-malefemale-brai... - United StatesCached - Similar

You +1'd this publicly. Undo

by A Schaffer - Related articles
21 Oct 2008 – He and his colleagues sampled speech from male and female college students, who ...... translator of Dante's Divine Comedy from Italian into English verse. ... background with Lewis in terms of class and intellectual brilliance, ...

      2.Hebrew, letters, love, maleness, femaleness, ahab, ahabah, agape

spiritualsprings.org/ss-16.htmCached

You +1'd this publicly. Undo

Strong's Number or Single Word Search. Spiritual Springs: File z = 16. Hebrew, letters, love, maleness, femaleness, ahab, ahabah, agape ... This is the Hebrew word for femaleness love. The "strong... May God bless our relearning of His love.