How do we deal with guilt?

 

Guilt is the ‘phenomena’ humanity has been dealing with since the fall of Adam and Eve. Nevertheless, there are four common approaches I may consider. First, as in the 60´s, it was the common practice to convince someone that he should not feel guilty for divorcing his wife, because divorce is legal. Second, as in the 70´s, people were encouraged to see themselves as more than their guilt. Their potential for good would overcome their guilt. Third, as many people believe, one has to feel guilty only when one is being caught. If no one knows, no one worries.¹

These approaches lead only to denial and ignorance. None of them deals with the core of guilt, which is sin. Therefore, I want to consider the fourth option: forgiveness. It may be the most time-consuming treatment of guilt, but the only one that is really orthodox with scripture and the only one that brings true holistic restoration and healing.

Leroy Aden understands forgiveness as a divine tool for dealing with brokenness: “Guilt speaks with a loud voice, but forgiveness has the last word.”²According to the dictionary, forgiveness is granting pardon for a mistake or wrongdoing, to free someone from penalty (like a sentence) or obligation (like a debt or payment).³Forgiveness is the response to sin and an act of grace which cannot be earned or deserved (Romans 3:23). Forgiveness denies the self that demands its “rights.” It is, as David Augsburger said, “like turning a key in the lock. You never go back to look at it again. It´s closed. Forever.”⁴

Therefore, we can say that forgiveness is the highest form of giving in a relationship, as we can see when Jesus was incarnated and died for our sins so that whoever repents shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16).

Leroy Aden highlights that forgiveness is not only the center of relationships, but also of Christian faith on which all other biblical claims rest.⁵Forgiveness suggests that there is another and better way than to ignore and deny guilt, which allows us to be honest about the reality of our own guilt and that of others. It encourages us to take honest responsibility for our own side of relationship.⁶Though forgiveness is a gift, it requires that the guilty person repents and turns away from his sin and desires and pursues to cure the cause of the problem.⁷

Having said this, forgiveness, pardoning one´s sin, does not come easily for most of us. Our natural instinct is to recoil in self-protection when we have been injured. We do not naturally overflow with mercy, grace, and forgiveness when we've been wronged.⁸In the next section I want to elaborate first on the vertical and horizontal aspect of forgiveness and then on several reasons why we should forgive.

References:

¹Gary R. Collins, Counseling and Guilt,(Texas: Word Books Publisher, 1987), 40.

²Leroy Aden and David G. Benner, Counseling, and the Human Predicament -A study of Sin, Guilt, and forgiveness-

(Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1989), 184.

³The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language.

⁴David Augsburger, Caring Enough to Not Forgive,(Scottdale: Herald Press, 1981), 39.

⁵Leroy Aden and David G. Benner, Counseling, and the Human Predicament,177.

⁶Ibid., 183.

⁷Duncean Buchanan, The Counselling of Jesus,(Illinois: InterVarsity Press, 1985), 101.

⁸About.com is a part of New York Times company. Article “What Does the Bible Say About Forgiveness?” was authored by Mary Fairchild. Date of publishing this article is unknown. Accessed on 10.12.2009.