How to overcome guilt with forgiveness?

 

Forgiveness, pardoning one´s sin, does not come easily for most of us. Our natural instinct is to recoil in self-protection when we have been injured. We do not naturally overflow with mercy, grace, and forgiveness when we've been wronged.[1] In this section I want to elaborate first on the vertical and horizontal aspect of forgiveness and then on several reasons why we should forgive.

           The Flow of forgiveness: Vertical and Horizontal Forgiveness

1. God

If we picture a world without forgiveness, we need to humbly confess that God´s forgiveness and his willingness to pay the price of that forgiveness makes a real difference in our vision of human life. It is God´s love and forgiveness toward us which forms the basis for our forgiveness towards ourselves and others, which I call vertical forgiveness. God is not only the author and perfecter of our life and faith (Hebrews 12:1) but also of our forgiveness. Pride, rather than forgiveness, is our human default setting, and therefore the concept of forgiveness is a divine concept. He enables us to forgive! Everything we have comes ultimately from Him!

2. Self

Without experiencing this vertical forgiveness of our sins (John 3:16), we cannot forgive ourselves, which is necessary to forgive others. Though talking about love, Matthew 22:29 (love your neighbor as yourself) supports this principle: Our love for our neighbor is based on our love for ourselves. Not loving ourselves will disable us to genuinely love our neighbor. In line with this train of thought: if we cannot forgive ourselves, how are we supposed to forgive others?

Experiencing the forgiveness of God brings us back in right relationship with God. Through this right relationship with God, we now have the hope of discovering our true selves and of being able to live at peace with what we find. We also have the hope of discovering others, meeting them in no exploitative intimacy instead of self-serving manipulation.[2]

Forgiving ourselves also implies accepting the way we look and are. It means accepting-even though we may not be perfect—that when God created us he said “behold, it is very good” (Genesis 1:31). Believing anything else about ourselves is declaring God to be a liar.

3. Others

Based on the forgiveness of God (vertical forgiveness), applied in forgiving ourselves, we are able to forgive other people: horizontal forgiveness. However, in order to make the flow of forgiveness more visual, above is a simple diagram.

Do we need to forgive God?

Common sense tells us that we can only forgive if there anything to forgive. If someone is not breaking a law or wronging somebody, he does not need forgiveness but is righteous. Having said this, we have to answer the question: is God sinning against us? Though it may look like God is wronging us and that he offends ‘our rights,’ he is not. God is the potter, and we are the clay.

Paul says “who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, ‘Why have you made me like this?’ Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honored use and another for dishonorable use?” (Romans 9:21-22). Since God is God and we are created by Him, he has the right to do whatever he wants to. However, in his unfailing love for us he says in Jeremiah 29:11, “‘For I know the plans I have for you’, declares the LORD, ‘plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.’”

So, it is very possible that occurring events are not pleasing to us. Jeanette Lockerbie says that “we will never be able to understand or explain the wonderful alchemy that produces sweetness out of sorrow, beauty from ashes, peace in the midst of pain.”[3]

 

Website Reference:

        1. Guilt and Forgiveness www.grin.com/en/e-book/143262/guilt-and-forgiveness

2. William T. Kirwan, Biblical Concepts for Christian Counseling, (Grand Rapids: Baker Book ... Guilt is the 'phenomena' humanity has been dealing with since the fall of Adam and Eve. .... Your comment is reviewed before being published ...

 

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¹About.com is a part of New York Times company. Article “What Does the Bible Say About Forgiveness? “was authored by Mary Fairchild. Date of publishing this article is unknown. Accessed on 10.12.2009.

²Leroy Aden and David G. Benner, Counseling, and the Human Predicament,206.

[3] Jeanette Lockerbie | Christian Books - Moody Publishers https://www.moodypublishers.com/authors/l/jeanette-lockerbiJEANETTE LOCKERBIE (1916-1998) homemaker, writing consultant, lecturer, and author of nearly forty books, was born in Scotland and spent her adult years in Canada and the United States. Jeanette was author of numerous books including Morning Glories and Salt in my Kitchen. In addition to her responsibilities as a pastor’s and missionary’s wife, she also served as staff editor for Psychology ...