Grief vs. Peace
{ On (April 12th, 2026), I lost my precious, godly mum aged 93 who loved me much, and lived very far away from where I lived. I know she is in glory now, but I am grieving, the loss. It is not easy losing someone we love, even if we know eternity is there for all believers to join together and cherish. It is the right thing to grieve, but not without hope. I am writing this as it can be a comfort for many.}
Grief is one of the most universal expressions of emotions of humanity. All human experiences and this crosses every culture, language, generations, and at different stages of life. We experience grief at the loss of a loved one, the end of a different relationships, at the loss of a cherished dream, or in profound life changes. Greif changes the capacity of a person to process thinking, and it has the power to reshape the way one thinks, feels, remembers, reminisce and experience the world around us.
We humans are built for connection with God and then to people around us. So, we have to understand that we are attached to people, because God has wired us in His image, Genesis 2-3; and Psalm 139. To understand grief, need to understand attachment as well. Human beings are social creatures and we are built for connection. From the moment we are born, our brains are wired to form close relationships. Relationships built are not simply emotional preferences; but they are biological necessities in life itself.
Grief
is not a disease; not a sign of weakness;
and not something that can be “fixed.” But, grief does reflect the brain’s
attempt to adapt to a reality that has suddenly changed.
The sorrows of death
compassed me, and the pains of hell gat hold upon me: I found
trouble and sorrow. Return unto thy rest, O my soul; for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with thee. For
thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from
falling. I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living; Psa. 116: 3, 7-9.
Pains of death…pangs of Sheol:
“In Old Testament poetry death and Sheol are aggressive, clutching at the living to waste them with sickness or crush them with despondency; so the singer’s plight may equally have been a desperate illness or (as Psalm 116:3 suggests) a wounding and disillusioning experience. Like Job’s, it could well have been both together.” (Kidner)
Grief is the natural emotional, psychological, physical, and social response to losing someone or something deeply meaningful. Examples: often associated with death, follow divorce, miscarriage, infertility, the loss of a job, chronic illness, moving away from home, losing a beloved pet or something valuable, or even the loss of an imagined future.
If human beings are only physical in nature, our total work focuses only on satisfying the physical needs. But our body has a soul and a spirit as well. The body hosts the soul and the spirit. We have to take care of the person as a whole: the spirit, the soul and the body. This is God’s good intention, for humanity ever since the Fall, and He gave us His word (Jesus Christ) and His Spirit for us to be renewed with strength.
“Understand, dear soul, that it is thy privilege to live inside the double doors of God’s loving care. He says to thee, ‘Peace, peace.’ If one assurance is not enough, He will follow it with a second and a third.” (Meyer)
It is very fair to ask as children of
God and as disciples of Christ, some heart searching questions, “what
sustains our mind”? What do we think upon often? What are our real strong holds
of the mind? What is our mind established upon? Where does our mind lean upon
often?
Grief is not just an emotional event; it is a profound neurological process. The brain rewires itself in grief, activating specific brain regions tied to pain, reward, and memory. The amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex all show heightened activity, leading to intense physical and emotional distress. Grief activates the same brain circuits as physical pain, producing measurable changes in brain structure and function that can persist for months or years. Understanding the neuroscience of grief helps in recognizing its biological impact and aids in moving through it.[i]
We are fearfully, marvellously and wonderfully made; (Ref. Psa. 139). One who has wired, and knitted us in our mother’s womb, also webbed and interwoven marvellously the brain and the heart. The billions of neurotransmitters in our brain and the heart, definitely points to God’s word and His design of man, and Neuroscience affirms this. Heart and brain (mind) are interchangeably used throughout the Bible. Heart can think and so also our brain which we know.
When thou passest through
the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not
overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned;
neither shall the flame kindle upon thee; Isa. 43: 2.
This means that God will be with us,
despite difficult circumstances. Trials are varied; sometimes we face waters,
sometimes rivers, and sometimes even fire.
Floods can overwhelm us, and fires can consume us. Just like Shadrach, Meshach, and
Abednego were kept safe by God in the fire by the presence of God ( Ref. Dan. 3:19-25); we will be preserved by God, despite very difficult circumstances.
Even if a child of God, walks on a luxurious padded carpet, He will be with us.
We are called to have this life totally dependent on God our Creator.
Therefore thus saith the
Lord God,
Behold, I lay in Zion for a foundation a stone, a tried stone, a precious
corner stone, a sure foundation: he that believeth shall not make haste; Isa. 28:16.
“Walking is the
pace at which you go when you are not in a hurry, when you are not concerned or
alarmed. When you are not burdened or anxious, then you walk. ‘He that
believeth shall not make haste’ (Isaiah 28:16).” (Redpath)
“You,” your joys and your sorrows, your memories and your ambitions, your sense of identity and free will, are in fact no more than the behaviour of a vast assembly of nerve cells and their associated molecules.[ii]
In Hebrew, the term perfect peace is actually shalom shalom. This shows how in Hebrew, repetition communicates intensity. It isn’t just shalom; it is shalom, perfect peace.[iii]
In Semitic languages when you want to emphasize a word you repeat it two times. For instance, if your mind stays on God, you will have calming peace, or maybe harmonious peace, or compensating peace, how about prosperous peace or maybe even healing peace. All these adjectives are definitions of shalom.[iv]
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose
mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee;
Isa.26: 3.
[ii] The Relationship of Neuroscience and the Soul • OCCA
The Oxford Centre for Christian Apologetics
We
will define life and human worth ultimately in virtue of the soul, thereby
grounding biomedical ethics and “justice for all” objectively, irrespective of
functional, ethnic, or other differences between various …
[iv]HEBREW WORD STUDY – PEACE PEACE – SHALOM SHALOM - Chaim Bentorah
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